o have of 'em: and that one Fool was enough to be troubled with; and
since they had paid me but one half of my Salary, and for that one of 'em
had enjoy'd me, & had what he wanted, I tho' we were pretty even. And so
getting up Early the next Morning, I left at once my Lodgings and Gallants.
And at night when the other came, (as without Doubt he did instead of
Meeting with me,) I left him this Note in the Key-hole,

_For your small Stipend, I'll ne'er liv in Goal,_
_Go seek a Trull that can divide her Tayl:_
_One half I've Pleas'd, I one half am Paid:_
_Had I got all, I shou'd have longer Staid._
_And yet you cann't say I was Ungenteel,_
_For I let one _Kiss_ and the other _Feel_._

How pleas'd the disappointed Fop was with my Poetry, I know not; for I
ne'er went again to my New Lodging to enquire after 'em.

_Well_, said the Goldsmiths Lady, _I ne'er heard of a prettier Intrigue
before and I dare say you serv'd 'em very handsomely.--But pray proceed_.

Another time, I serv'd a Goldsmith's Prentice a pretty Trick; For having
been abroad about some business, and coming home i'th' evening, a young
Spark, exceeding Beauish, (with a New Modish Suit of Cloaths on) that had
been drinking hard all Day, would need be picking of me up, when I did'nt
at all intend it. But seeing him so earnest for a Bout, that I cou'd'nt get
rid of him, I had him to a House I was acquainted with by th' way, and
there after a heartening Cup or two, and having handled his Posteriours, to
see he didn't put a Trick upon me, I let him have what he so eagerly
desir'd; and diving into his Pockets i'th' mean while, I found he had but
one poor single Shilling left; which vext me so, that I resolv'd I wou'd be
even with him another way; and therefore when he had done what he'd a mind
to do, I presently call'd briskly for a fresh Bottle of the Best, which
whilst we were drinking, I said _Well, Spark, as a Reward for your
excellent Performance, which has been beyond my Expectation, and shew'd you
to be a good Womans Man, I will divert you with an Entertainment worth your
Seeing. Come, it shall cost you nothing; only I must beg the Favour of you
to unrig, and lend me your Cloaths for half an hour; and I will bring you a
Mant and Petticoat to wear the while; and you shall see a Jolly Crew of
Active Dames, which will perform such Leacherous Agilities as will stir you
up to take the other Touch, and far out-vie whatever has been either done,
or rel