ut the finishing touches to his toilet, and eventually
landed him safely in Mrs. Purdie's parlor. His description to the boys
that night of what followed is worthy of quotation:

"The old fellow shook hands with Mrs. P., O.K. Something was said about
the weather, and then Mrs. P. said, 'I'll introduce you to the lady you
are to take down, Mr. Stirling, but I shan't let you talk to her before
dinner. Look about you and take your choice of whom you would like to
meet?' Chum gave one agonized look round the room. There wasn't a woman
over twenty-five in sight! And what do you think the wily old fox said?
Call him simple! Not by a circumstance! A society beau couldn't have
done it better. Can't guess? Well, he said, 'I'd like to talk to you,
Mrs. Purdie.' Fact! Of course she took it as a compliment, and was as
pleased as could be. Well, I don't know how on earth he ever got through
his introduction or how he ever reached the dining-room, for my
inamorata was so pretty that I thought of nothing till we were seated,
and the host took her attention for a moment. Then I looked across at
chum, who was directly opposite, to see how he was getting on. Oh, you
fellows would have died to see it! There he sat, looking straight out
into vacancy, so plainly laboring for something to say that I nearly
exploded. Twice he opened his lips to speak, and each time closed them
again. The girl of course looked surprised, but she caught my eye, and
entered into the joke, and we both waited for developments. Then she
suddenly said to him, 'Now let's talk about something else.' It was too
much for me. I nearly choked. I don't know what followed. Miss Jevons
turned and asked me something. But when I looked again, I could see the
perspiration standing on Peter's forehead, while the conversation went
by jerks and starts as if it was riding over a ploughed field. Miss
Callender, whom he took in, told me afterwards that she had never had a
harder evening's work in her life. Nothing but 'yeses' and 'noes' to be
got from him. She wouldn't believe what I said of the old fellow."

Three or four such experiences ended Peter's dining out. He was
recognized as unavailable material. He received an occasional card to a
reception or a dance, for anything in trousers passes muster for such
functions. He always went when invited, and was most dutiful in the
counter-calls. In fact, society was to him a duty which he discharged
with the same plodding determination