*

THE WATCH DOGS.

LXVIII.

My Dear Charles,--I don't know that I think so much of these alliances
after all, and I'll tell you why.

When I first heard that my old friend Italy was in trouble I paraded
my officer at once. "Stand to attention, George," I said, "and tell me
what we are going to do about it."

"Oh, that'll be all right," said he. "I've booked my seat in the
train."

I think that George, my subordinate, sometimes forgets who I am and
what importance attaches to me. I feel that he ought at least to
consult me formally before he decides what instructions I am going to
issue to him. After all, I am only fifteen years younger than he is.

"You will proceed forthwith to Italy," I said, "and will there study
the local conditions on the spot. You will then take such action as
the occasion seems to you to demand." George was cleaning out his
pipe, so for once he didn't interrupt. "You will report progress to
me in triplicate."

George frowned. Having been the Supreme White Man in some African
district for dozens of years before the War, all his hair seems to
have got into his eyebrows, and his frown is a terrible thing to see.

"At any rate," I said, "you might just drop me a post-card to tell me
how you're getting on."

George's eyebrows stood at ease and then stood easy.

"It's all very well for you," I added. "But what about me, when it
comes to totting up your travelling allowances later on?"

George has private means, which work out at about one-and-fourpence,
less income tax, a day. Consequently he is a little careless about
money matters. "Oh, that'll be all right," he said.

* * * * *

George was away for three weeks. What he did all the time I'm sure
I don't know, though I kept on reporting to my superiors that the
necessary steps were being taken and the requisite measures were being
initiated. When he got back he wanted to start in at once telling me
all about it. But I said no, and insisted on getting down to the War.

"In making out travelling claims," I said, producing the appropriate
Army Form, "care should be taken to comply with the instructions
contained in the King's Regulations. We have a quarter of an hour
before your breakfast will be ready. Let us deal with our more
formidable enemies, the Pay People, first."

George is the sort of person who gets you into trouble on the very
first line of any Army Form. Asked as to his rank, he tol