FREE BOOKS

Author's List




PREV.   NEXT  
|<   170   171   172   173   174   175   176   177   178   179   180   181   182   183   184   185   186   187   188   189   190   191   192   193   194  
195   196   197   198   199   200   201   202   203   204   205   206   207   208   209   210   211   212   213   214   215   216   217   218   219   >>   >|  
e time he was looking over her head fixedly, with his mouth open. "And I was always so sure of you!" were the words that came to him at last, with a hard little laugh at the end of them. "Can you think it makes me love you less," she sobbed, "because I love him, too? Oh, Tommy, I thought you would be so glad!" He kissed her; he put his hand fondly upon her head. "I am glad," he said, with emotion. "When that which you want has come to you, Elspeth, how can I but be glad? But it takes me aback, and if for a moment I felt forlorn, if, when I should have been rejoicing only in your happiness, the selfish thought passed through my mind, 'What is to become of me?' I hope--I hope--" Then he sat down and buried his face in the table. And he might have been telling her about Grizel! Has the shock stunned you, Tommy? Elspeth thinks it has been a shock of pain. May we lift your head to show her your joyous face? "I am so proud," she was saying, "that at last, after you have done so much for me, I can do a little thing for you. For it is something to free you, Tommy. You have always pretended, for my sake, that we could not do without each other, but we both knew all the time that it was only I who was unable to do without you. You can't deny it." He might deny it, but it was true. Ah, Tommy, you bore with her with infinite patience, but did it never strike you that she kept you to the earth? If Elspeth could be happy without you! You were sure she could not, but if she could!--had that thought never made you flap your wings? "I often had a pain at my heart," she told him, "which I kept from you. It was a feeling that your solicitude for me, perhaps, prevented your caring for any other woman. It seemed terrible and unnatural that I should be a bar to that. I felt that I was starving you, and not you only, but an unknown woman as well." "So long as I had you, Elspeth," he said reproachfully, "was not that enough?" "It seemed to be enough," she answered gravely, "but even while I comforted myself with that, I knew that it should not be enough, and still I feared that if it was, the blame was mine. Now I am no longer in the way, and I hope, so ardently, that you will fall in love, like other people. If you never do, I shall always have the fear that I am the cause, that you lost the capacity in the days when I let you devote yourself too much to me." Oh, blind Elspeth! Now is the time to tell her, Tommy, and
PREV.   NEXT  
|<   170   171   172   173   174   175   176   177   178   179   180   181   182   183   184   185   186   187   188   189   190   191   192   193   194  
195   196   197   198   199   200   201   202   203   204   205   206   207   208   209   210   211   212   213   214   215   216   217   218   219   >>   >|  



Top keywords:
Elspeth
 

thought

 

feeling

 
solicitude
 
infinite
 
patience
 

devote

 

strike


comforted

 

gravely

 
answered
 
longer
 

ardently

 

feared

 

reproachfully

 

starving


unknown

 

unnatural

 

terrible

 

caring

 
capacity
 

people

 

prevented

 
emotion

fondly

 
kissed
 
moment
 

forlorn

 

rejoicing

 

sobbed

 

fixedly

 

happiness


selfish
 
joyous
 

pretended

 
passed
 

buried

 

stunned

 

thinks

 

Grizel


telling

 

unable