m a fine gentleman certainly," said the shirt-collar, "I
possess a boot-jack and a hair-brush." This was not true, for these
things belonged to his master; but he was a boaster.

"Don't come so near me," said the garter; "I am not accustomed
to it."

"Affectation!" said the shirt-collar.

Then they were taken out of the wash-tub, starched, and hung
over a chair in the sunshine, and then laid on the ironing-board.
And now came the glowing iron. "Mistress widow," said the
shirt-collar, "little mistress widow, I feel quite warm. I am
changing, I am losing all my creases. You are burning a hole in me.
Ugh! I propose to you."

"You old rag," said the flat-iron, driving proudly over the
collar, for she fancied herself a steam-engine, which rolls over the
railway and draws carriages. "You old rag!" said she.

The edges of the shirt-collar were a little frayed, so the
scissors were brought to cut them smooth. "Oh!" exclaimed the
shirt-collar, "what a first-rate dancer you would make; you can
stretch out your leg so well. I never saw anything so charming; I am
sure no human being could do the same."

"I should think not," replied the scissors.

"You ought to be a countess," said the shirt collar; "but all I
possess consists of a fine gentleman, a boot-jack, and a comb. I
wish I had an estate for your sake."

"What! is he going to propose to me?" said the scissors, and she
became so angry that she cut too sharply into the shirt collar, and it
was obliged to be thrown by as useless.

"I shall be obliged to propose to the hair-brush," thought the
shirt collar; so he remarked one day, "It is wonderful what
beautiful hair you have, my little lady. Have you never thought of
being engaged?"

"You might know I should think of it," answered the hair brush; "I
am engaged to the boot-jack."

"Engaged!" cried the shirt collar, "now there is no one left to
propose to;" and then he pretended to despise all love-making.

A long time passed, and the shirt collar was taken in a bag to the
paper-mill. Here was a large company of rags, the fine ones lying by
themselves, separated from the coarser, as it ought to be. They had
all many things to relate, especially the shirt collar, who was a
terrible boaster. "I have had an immense number of love affairs," said
the shirt collar, "no one left me any peace. It is true I was a very
fine gentleman; quite stuck up. I had a boot-jack and a brush that I
never used. You should have seen me