The Project Gutenberg EBook of The Man with Two Left Feet, by P. G. Wodehouse

This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with
almost no restrictions whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or
re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included
with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.net

Title: The Man with Two Left Feet
and Other Stories

Author: P. G. Wodehouse

Posting Date: March 6, 2010 [EBook #7471]
Release Date: February, 2005
First Posted: May 6, 2003
Last Updated: October 19, 2004

Language: English

Character set encoding: ASCII

*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK THE MAN WITH TWO LEFT FEET ***

Produced by Suzanne L. Shell, Charles Franks and the Online
Distributed Proofreading Team

THE MAN WITH TWO LEFT FEET

_and Other Stories_

by P. G. WODEHOUSE

1917

CONTENTS

BILL THE BLOODHOUND

EXTRICATING YOUNG GUSSIE

WILTON'S HOLIDAY

THE MIXER--I

THE MIXER--II

CROWNED HEADS

AT GEISENHEIMER'S

THE MAKING OF MAC'S

ONE TOUCH OF NATURE

BLACK FOR LUCK

THE ROMANCE OF AN UGLY POLICEMAN

A SEA OF TROUBLES

THE MAN WITH TWO LEFT FEET

BILL THE BLOODHOUND

There's a divinity that shapes our ends. Consider the case of Henry
Pifield Rice, detective.

I must explain Henry early, to avoid disappointment. If I simply said
he was a detective, and let it go at that, I should be obtaining the
reader's interest under false pretences. He was really only a sort of
detective, a species of sleuth. At Stafford's International
Investigation Bureau, in the Strand, where he was employed, they did
not require him to solve mysteries which had baffled the police. He had
never measured a footprint in his life, and what he did not know about
bloodstains would have filled a library. The sort of job they gave
Henry was to stand outside a restaurant in the rain, and note what time
someone inside left it. In short, it is not 'Pifield Rice,
Investigator. No. 1.--The Adventure of the Maharajah's Ruby' that I
submit to your notice, but the unsensational doings of a quite
commonplace young man, variously known to his comrades at the Bureau as
'Fathead', 'That blighter what's-his-name', and 'Here, you!'

Henry lived in a boarding-house in Guildford Street. One day a new girl
came to the boarding-house, and sat next to Henry at meals. Her name
was Alice Weston. She was small and quiet, and rather pr