intellectual position and the use of it? Verily, I was brought to
lowly tasks; we left them to women in the world below. But really, I
think this troubled me less than it might have done; perhaps less than
it should have done. I accepted the strange reversal of my fate as one
accepts any turn of affairs which, he is convinced, is better than he
might have expected. It had begun to be evident to me that it was
better than I had deserved. If I am exceptional in being forced to
admit that this consciousness was a novelty in my experience, the
admission is none the less necessary for that. I had been in the habit
of considering myself rather a good fellow, as a man with no vices in
particular is apt to. I had possessed no standards of life below which
my own fell to an embarrassing point. The situation to which I was now
brought, was not unlike that of one who finds himself in a land where
there are new and delicate instruments for indicating the state of the
weather. I was aware, and knew that my neighbours were, of
fluctuations in the moral atmosphere which had never before come under
my attention. The whole subtle and tremendous force of public
sentiment now bore upon me to make me uneasy before achievements with
which I had hitherto been complacent. It had inconceivable effects to
live in a community where spiritual character formed the sole scale of
social position.

I, who had been always socially distinguished, found myself now exposed
to incessant mortifications, such as spring from the fact that one is
of no consequence.

I should say, however, that I felt this much less for myself than for
my child; indeed, that it was because of Boy that I first felt the fact
at all, or brooded over it after I had begun to feel it.

The little fellow developed rapidly, much faster than children of his
age do in the human life; he ceased to be a baby, and was a little boy
while I was yet wondering what I should do with him when he had
outgrown his infancy. His intellect, his character, his physique,
lifted themselves with a kind of luxuriance of growth, such as plants
show in tropical countries; he blossomed as a thing does which has
every advantage and no hindrance; nature moved magnificently to her
ends in him; it was a delight to watch such vigorous processes; he was
a rich, unthwarted little creature. With all a father's heart and a
physician's sensibility, I was proud of him.

I was proud of him, alas! until