n stand
alone; if we aim merely at enthusiasm, the fire grows cold, the world
grows dreary, and we lapse into a cynical mood of bitterness, as the
mortal flame turns low._

_Nor must we aim at mere tranquillity; for so we may fall into a mere
placid acquiescence, a selfish inaction; our peace must be heartened by
eagerness, our zest calmed by serenity. If we follow the fire alone,
we become restless and dissatisfied; if we seek only for peace, we
become like the patient beasts of the field._

_I would wish, though I grow old and grey-haired, a hundred times a day
to ask why things are as they are, and to desire that they were
otherwise; and again a hundred times a day I would thank God that they
are as they are, and praise him for showing me his will rather than my
own. For the secret lies in this; that we must not follow our own
impulses, and thus grow pettish and self-willed: neither must we float
feebly upon the will of God, like a branch that spins in an eddy;
rather we must try to put our utmost energy in line with the will of
God, hasten with all our might where he calls us, and turn our back as
resolutely as we can when he bids us go no further; as an eager dog
will intently await his master's choice, as to which of two paths he
may desire to take; but the way once indicated, he springs forward,
elate and glad, rejoicing with all his might._

_He leads me. He leads me; but He has also given me this wild and
restless heart, these untamed desires: not that I may follow them and
obey them, but that I may patiently discern His will, and do it to the
uttermost._

_Father, be patient with me, for I yield myself to Thee; Thou hast
given me a desirous heart, and I have a thousand times gone astray
after vain shadows, and found no abiding joy. I have been weary many
times, and sad often; and I have been light of heart and very glad; but
my sadness and my weariness, my lightness and my joy have only blessed
me, whenever I have shared them with Thee. I have shut myself up in a
perverse loneliness, I have closed the door of my heart, miserable that
I am, even upon Thee. And Thou hast waited smiling, till I knew that I
had no joy apart from Thee. Only uphold me, only enfold me in Thy
arms, and I shall be safe; for I know that nothing can divide us,
except my own wilful heart; we forget and are forgotten, but Thou alone
rememberest; and if I forget Thee, at least I know that Thou forgettest
not me._