ound.
And I mean to hymn, as soon as I have a moment of leisure time,
The chill susurrus of cocktail ice in an adequate piece of rhyme.
But I've just had an invitation to hark, at a beckoning bar,
To the sound of the ice in the shaker as the barkeeper mixes a Star.

"Such Stuff as Dreams"

Jenny kiss'd me in a dream;
So did Elsie, Lucy, Cora,
Bessie, Gwendolyn, Eupheme,
Alice, Adelaide, and Dora.
Say of honour I'm devoid,
Say monogamy has miss'd me,
But don't say to Dr. Freud
Jenny kiss'd me.

The Ballad of Justifiable Homicide

They brought to me his mangled corpse
And I feared lest I should swing.
"O tell me, tell me,--and make it brief--
Why hast thou done this thing?

"Had this man robbed the starving poor
Or lived a gunman's life,
Had he set fire to cottages,
Or run off with thy wife?"

"He hath not robbed the starving poor,
Nor lived a gunman's life;
He hath set fire to no cottage,
Nor run off with my wife.

"Ye ask me such a question that
It now my lips unlocks:
I learned he was the man who planned
The second balcony box."

The jury pondered never an hour,
They thought not even a little,
But handed in unanimously
A verdict of acquittal.

The Ballad of the Murdered
Merchant

All stark and cold the merchant lay,
All cold and stark lay he.
And who hath killed this fair mer_chant_?
Now tell the truth to me.

Oh, I have killed this fair mer_chant_
Will never again draw breath;
Oh, I have made this fair mer_chant_
To come unto his death.

Oh, why hast thou killed this fair mer_chant_
Whose corse I now behold?
And why hast caused this man to lie
In death all stark and cold?

Oh, I have killed this fair mer_chant_
Whose kith and kin make moan,
For that he hath stolen my precious time
When he useth the telephone.

The telephone bell rang full and clear;
The receiver did I seize.
"Hello!" quoth I, and quoth a girl,
"Hello!... One moment, please."

I waited moments ane and twa,
And moments three and four,
And then I sought that fair mer_chant_
And spilled his selfish gore.

That business man who scorneth to waste
His moments sae rich and fine
In calling a man to the telephone
Shall never again waste mine!

And every time a henchwom_an_
Shall cause me a moment's loss,
I'll forthwith fare to that of_fice_
And stab to death her boss.

Rise up! Rise up! thou blessed knight!
And off thy b