s quandary. Those who made a show of sadness were declared
guilty of disrespect to the memory of the queen, who had been translated
to the joys of heaven. Those who seemed glad were adjudged equally
guilty for not mourning her loss. And those who showed neither joy nor
sorrow were accused of criminal indifference to his feelings. One man,
who sold warm water in the streets, was sentenced to death for daring to
pursue his occupation on so solemn an occasion.

At a loss, as it would appear, in what madness next to indulge, Caligula
finally not only declared himself a god, but erected a temple to his own
divinity, and created a college of priests to serve at his altar. Among
these were some of the first senators of Rome, who vied with each other
in adulation to this impious wretch. Not content with these, he made his
wife a priest, then his horse, and at length became a priest to himself.
He played with the dignities of the realm in the same manner as with its
religion, raised the ministers of his lusts to the highest offices, and
finally went so far as to make his horse a consul of Rome.

In his position as a deity he pretended to be equal to and on friendly
terms with Jupiter, and would whisper in the ears of his statue as if
they were in familiar intercourse. He had a machine constructed to vie
with Jupiter's thunder, and during the lightning of a storm would
challenge the god to mortal combat by hurling stones into the air.

This succession of mad frolics and ruthless cruelties should, it would
seem, have satisfied even a Caligula, but he managed to overtop them all
by a supreme piece of folly, which stands alone among human freaks.
Hitherto his doings had been those of peace; he now resolved to gain
glory in war, and show the Romans what a man of soldierly mettle they
had in their emperor. There were no particular wars then afoot, but he
would make one, and resolved on an invasion of Germany, whose people
were at that time quiet subjects or allies of Rome.

To decide with him was to act. The army was ordered to prepare with the
utmost haste, and was driven so fiercely that all was in confusion, the
roads everywhere being blocked up with hurrying troops and great convoys
of provisions, all converging rapidly on the line of march. Not waiting
their arrival, he put himself at the head of the first legions gathered,
and set out on the march with such furious speed that the legionaries
were utterly exhausted with fatigue