e made by the managers of the
symphony concert in Central Music Hall night before last was in not
opening the concert with Beethoven's "Eroica," instead of making it the
last number on the programme. We incline to the opinion, however,
that, in putting the symphony last, the managers complied with the very
first requirement of dramatic composition. This requirement is to the
effect that you must not kill all your people off in the first act.

There doubtless are a small number of worthy people who enjoy these old
symphonies that are being dragged out of oblivion by glass-eyed Teutons
from Boston. It may argue a very low grade of intellectuality,
spirituality, or whatsoever you may be pleased to call it; but we must
confess in all candor, that, much as we revere Mr. Beethoven's memory,
we do not fancy having fifty-five-minute chunks of his musty opi hurled
at us.

It is a marvel to us, that, in these progressive times, such leaders as
Thomas and Gericke do not respond to the popular demand by providing
the public with symphonies in the nutshell. We have condensations in
every line except music. Even literature is being boiled down; because
in these busy times, people demand a literature which they can read
while they run. We have condensed milk, condensed meats, condensed
wines,--condensed everything but music. What a joyous shout would go
up if Thomas or Gericke would only prepare and announce

"_SYMPHONIES FOR BUSY PEOPLE!
THE OLD MASTERS EPITOMIZED!_"

What Chicago demands, and what every enterprising and intelligent
community needs, is the highest class of music on the
"all-the-news-for-two-cents" principle. Blanket-sheet concertizing
must go!

Now, here was this concert, night before last. Two hours and a half to
five numbers! Suppose we figure a little on this subject:

EXHIBIT A--SYMPHONY.

Total number of minutes . . . . . . . . . . 150
Total number of pieces . . . . . . . . . . . 5
Minutes to each piece . . . . . . . . . . . 30

EXHIBIT B--TRADE.

Total number of minutes . . . . . . . . . . 150
Hog-slaughtering capacity per minute . . . . 3
Total killing . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 450

Figures will not lie, because (as was the reason with George) they
cannot. And figures prove to us, that, in the time consumed by five
symphonic numbers, the startling number of four hundred and fifty hogs
could be (and are daily) slaughtered, scraped, disembowell