SHIRE--ALATHEA _alias_
BETTY--WE BURY OUR DEAD OUT OF OUR SIGHT--VOICES OF THE NORTH

XXVII. THE NEW RECTOR--AUNT MARIA TRIES TO FIND HIM A WIFE--MY FATHER
HAS A SIMILAR CARE FOR ME

XXVIII. I BELIEVE MYSELF TO BE BROKEN-HEARTED--MARIA IN LOVE--I MAKE
AN OFFER OF MARRIAGE, WHICH IS NEITHER ACCEPTED NOR REFUSED

XXIX. THE FUTURE LADY DAMER--POLLY HAS A SECRET--UNDER THE
MULBERRY-TREE

XXX. I MEET THE HEIRESS--I FIND MYSELF MISTAKEN ON MANY POINTS--A NEW
KNOT IN THE FAMILY COMPLICATIONS

XXXI. MY LADY FRANCES--THE FUTURE LADY DAMER--WE UNDERSTAND EACH OTHER
AT LAST

XXXII. WE COME HOME--MRS. BUNDLE QUITS SERVICE

* * * * *

LIST OF ILLUSTRATIONS

MRS. BUNDLE _Frontispiece_

THE LANK LAWYER WAGGED MY HAND OF A MORNING, AND SAID, "AND HOW IS
MISS ELIZA'S LITTLE BEAU?"

"BLESS ME, THERE'S THAT DOG!"

"MR. BUCKLE, I BELIEVE?"

SHE ROLLED ABRUPTLY OVER ON HER SEAT AND SCRAMBLED OFF BACKWARDS

POLLY AND REGIE IN THE "PULPIT" AND THE "PEW"

"ALL TOGETHER, IF YOU PLEASE!"

IT WAS ONLY A QUIET DINNER PARTY, AND MISS CHISLETT HAD BROUGHT OUT
HER NEEDLEWORK

* * * * *

A FLAT IRON FOR A FARTHING

CHAPTER I

MOTHERLESS

When the children clamour for a story, my wife says to me, "Tell them
how you bought a flat iron for a farthing." Which I very gladly do;
for three reasons. In the first place, it is about myself, and so I
take an interest in it. Secondly, it is about some one very dear to
me, as will appear hereafter. Thirdly, it is the only original story
in my somewhat limited collection, and I am naturally rather proud of
the favour with which it is invariably received. I think it was the
foolish fancy of my dear wife and children combined that this most
veracious history should be committed to paper. It was either
because--being so unused to authorship--I had no notion of
composition, and was troubled by a tyro tendency to stray from my
subject; or because the part played by the flat iron, though
important, was small; or because I and my affairs were most chiefly
interesting to myself as writer, and my family as readers; or from a
combination of all these reasons together, that my tale outgrew its
first title and we had to add a second, and call it "Some Passages in
the Life of an only Son."

Yes, I was an only son. I was an only child