Call it what you like," he declared, indulgently. "Our clients send us
in these things with their own description and we haven't time to verify
them all--not likely. One bedroom suite, then--there you are. Now
then, Burton, you blithering idiot," he muttered savagely under his
breath, "if you can't hold your tongue I'll kick you out of your seat
Thirty pounds shall we say?" he continued, leaning forward persuasively.
"Twenty pounds, then? The price makes no difference to me, only do
let's get on."

The suite in question was knocked down at eight pounds ten. The sale
proceeded, but bidders were few. A spirit of distrust seemed to be in
the air. Most of the lots were knocked down to dummy bidders, which
meant that they were returned to the manufacturers on the following day.
The frown on Mr. Waddington's face deepened.

"See what you've done, you silly jackass!" he whispered to his
assistant, during a momentary pause in the proceedings. "There's
another little knot of people left. Here's old Sherwell coming in, half
drunk. Now hold your tongue if you can. I'll have him for the
dining-room suite, sure. If you interfere this time, I'll break your
head. . . . We come now, ladies and gentlemen, to the most important
lot of the day. Mr. Sherwell, sir, I am glad to see you. You're just
in time. There's a dining-room suite coming on, the only one I have to
offer, and such a suite as is very seldom on the market. One table, two
sideboards, and twelve chairs. Now, Mr. Sherwell, sir, look at the
table for yourself. You're a judge and I am willing to take your word.
Did you ever see a finer, a more magnificent piece of mahogany? There
is no deception about it. Feel it, look at it, test it in any way you
like. I tell you, ladies and gentlemen, this is a lot I have examined
myself, and if I could afford it I'd have bought it privately. I made a
bid but the executors wouldn't listen to me. Now then, ladies and
gentlemen, make me an offer for the suite."

"Fine bit o' wood," the half-intoxicated furniture dealer pronounced,
leaning up against the table and examining it with clumsy gravity. "A
genuine bit o' stuff."

"You're right, Mr. Sherwell," the auctioneer agreed, impressively. "It
is a unique piece of wood, sir--a unique piece of wood, ladies and
gentlemen. Now how much shall we say for the suite? Lot number
85--twelve chairs, the table you are leaning up against, two sideboards,
and butler's tray. Shall we say ninety guineas,