ause; five minutes' whistling;
three chandeliers and two heads broken; and the owners of seventeen corns
_stamped_ up to frenzy!) Need I fear the malice of an individual? ("Never!
never!" from all parts of the house.) Could I deceive you, an enlightened
public? ("No! no! impossible! all fudge!") Would I attempt such a thing?
("No! no! by no manner of means!") I am, ladies and gentlemen--("Fitzflam!
Fitzflam!") I bow to your judgment. I have witnesses; shall I produce
them?" "No," said two of his most enthusiastic supporters, scrambling out
of the pit, and getting on the stage; "Don't trouble yourself; we know
you; (_Omnes_. "Hurrah!" To Fitzflam in boxes--"Shame! shame!") _we_ will
swear to you; (_Omnes_, " Fitzflam for ever!") and--we don't care who
knows it--(_Omnes_. "Noble fellows!") we arrest you at the suit of
Messrs. Moleskin and Corderoy, Regent's-quadrant, tailors. Attorneys,
Messrs. Gallowsworthy and Pickles, of Furnival's Inn. Plaintiff claims
54l. debt and 65l. costs; so come along, will you!"

It was an exceedingly fortunate thing for the representatives of the
Sheriff of Middlesex that their exit was marked by more expedition than
elegance; for as soon as their real purpose was known, Fitzflam (as the
audience supposed Fitzfunk to be) would have been rescued _vi et armis_.
As it was, they hurried him to a back room at the inn, and carefully
double-locked the door. It was also rather singular that from the moment
of the officer's appearance, the gentleman in the boxes whose doubts had
caused the disturbance immediately owned himself in the wrong, apologised
for his mistake, and withdrew. As the tragedy could not proceed without
Fitzfunk, the manager proposed a hornpipe-in-fetters and general dance by
the characters; instead of the last act which was accepted, and loudly
applauded and encored by the audience.

Seated in his melancholy apartment, well guarded by the bailiff, certain
of being discovered and perhaps punished as an impostor, or compelled to
part with all his earnings to pay for coats and continuations he had never
worn, the luckless Horatio Fitzharding Fitzfunk gave way to deep
despondency, and various "ahs!" and "ohs!" A tap at the door was followed
by the introduction of a three-cornered note addressed to himself. The
following were its contents:--

"Sir,--It appears from this night's adventure _my name_ has heretofore
been useful to you, and on the present occasion your impersonation of it