thought that the New Hampshire village would have risen in
mob to prevent the inscription that was really placed on one of its
tombstones descriptive of a man who had lost his life at the foot of a
vicious mare on the way to brook:

"As this man was leading her to drink
She kick'd and kill'd him quicker'n a wink."

One would have thought that even conservative New Jersey would have been in
rebellion at a child's epitaph which in a village of that State reads thus:

"She was not smart, she was not fair,
But hearts with grief for her are swellin';
All empty stands her little chair:
She died of eatin' watermelon."

Let not such discretions be allowed in hallowed places. Let not poetizers
practice on the tombstone. My uniform advice to all those who want
acceptable and suggestive epitaph is, Take a passage of Scripture. That
will never wear out. From generation to generation it will bring down upon
all visitors a holy hush; and if before that stone has crumbled the day
comes for waking up of all the graveyard sleepers, the very words chiseled
on the marble may be the ones that shall ring from the trumpet of the
archangel.

While the governor was buttering another muffin, and, according to the
dietetic principle a little while ago announced, allowing it sufficiently
to cool off, he continued the subject already opened by saying: I keep
well by allowing hardly anything to trouble me, and by looking on the
bright side of everything. One half of the people fret themselves to death.

Four months ago the air was full of evil prophecies. If a man believed one
half he saw in the newspapers, he must have felt that this world was a
failure, not paying more than ten cents on a dollar. To one good prophet
like Isaiah or Ezekiel we had a thousand Balaams, each mounted on his
appropriate nag.

First came the fearful announcement that in consequence of the financial
depression we would have bread-riots innumerable and great slaughter. But
where have been your riots? There was here and there a swinging of
shillalahs, and a few broken heads which would probably have got broken
anyhow; but the men who made the disturbance were found to be lounging
vagabonds who never worked even when they had a chance.

Prophecy was also made that there would be a general starvation. We do not
believe that in the United States there have been twenty sober people
famished in the last year. Aware of the unusual stress upon the poor, t