n thus deceiving himself, and the effort
had only served to aggravate his miseries. The habit of mind, however,
had shown itself in the earlier stages of his acquaintance with Miss
Enderby. The first sight of her had moved him somewhat, but scarcely
with any foreshadowing of serious emotion. He felt that she was
different from any woman with whom he had ever stood on an equal
footing; but, at the same time, the very possibility of establishing
more or less intimate relations with her made him distrustful of his
judgment. In spite of himself, he tried to disparage her qualities. She
was pretty, he admitted, but then of such a feeble, characterless type;
doubtless her understanding corresponded with the weakness of her
outward appearance. None the less, he had continued to observe her
keenly, and had noted with pleasure every circumstance which
contradicted his wilful depreciation of her. His state of mind after
the thrashing he gave to young Tootle had been characteristic. What had
been the cause of his violence? Certainly not uncontrollable anger, for
he had in reality been perfectly cool throughout the affair; simply,
then, the pleasure of avenging Miss Enderby. And for this he had
sacrificed his place, and left himself without resources. He had acted
absurdly; certainly would not have repeated the absurdity had the scene
been to act over again. This was not the attitude of one in love, and
he knew it. Moreover, though he had thought of writing to her, it would
in reality have cost him nothing if she had forthwith passed out of his
sight and knowledge. Now how all this had been altered, by a mere
chance meeting. The doubts had left him; she was indeed the being from
a higher world that he would have liked to believe her from the first;
the mysterious note of true sympathy had been struck in that short
exchange of words and looks, and, though they had taken leave of each
other for who could say how long, mutual knowledge was just beginning,
real intercourse about to be established between them. He might write
to her, and of course she would reply.

He walked without much perception of time or distance, and found
himself at home just before nightfall. He felt disposed for a quiet
evening, to be spent in the companionship of his thoughts. But when he
had made his coffee and eaten with appetite after the day's rambling,
restlessness again possessed him. After all, it was not retirement that
he needed; these strange new Ima