d
not be driven hither or thither by any pressure from without. Why
had John Eames, at the very moment when he should have been doing
his best to drive from her breast the memory of past follies,--when
he would have striven to do so had he really been earnest in his
suit,--why at such a moment had he allowed himself to correspond in
terms of affection with such a woman as this M. D.? While Mrs. Arabin
was pleading for John Eames, Lily was repeating to herself certain
words which John had written to the woman--"Ever and always yours
unalterably". Such were not the exact words, but such was the form in
which Lily, dishonestly, chose to repeat them to herself. And why was
it so with her? In the old days she would have forgiven Crosbie any
offence at a word or a look,--any possible letter to any M. D., let
her have been ever so abominable! Nay,--had she not even forgiven him
the offence of deserting herself altogether on behalf of a woman as
detestable as could be any M. D. of Johnny's choosing,--a woman whose
only recommendation had been her title? And yet she would not forgive
John Eames, though the evidence against him was of so flimsy a
nature,--but rather strove to turn the flimsiness of that evidence
into strength! Why was it so? Unheroic as he might be, John Eames
was surely a better man and a bigger man than Adolphus Crosbie. It
was simply this:--she had fallen in love with the one, and had never
fallen in love with the other! She had fallen in love with the one
man, though in her simple way she had made a struggle against such
feeling; and she had not come to love the other man, though she had
told herself that it would be well that she should do so if it were
possible. Again and again she had half declared to herself that she
would take him as her husband and leave the love to come afterwards;
but when the moment came for doing so, she could not do it.

"May I not say a word of comfort to him?" said Mrs. Arabin.

"He will be very comfortable without any such word," said Lily,
laughing.

"But he is not comfortable; of that you may be very sure." "Yours
ever and unalterably, J. E.," said Lily to herself. "You do not doubt
his affection?" continued Mrs. Arabin.

"I neither doubt it nor credit it."

"Then I think you wrong him. And the reason why I have ventured to
come to you is that you may know the impression which he has made
upon one who was but the other day a stranger to him. I am sure that
he loves you.