ng through you," said he.
Then she lost her balance. She cried: "If you think I am in love with
some one else, you are very much mistaken."
"Of course I don't think that. You are not that kind, Lucy."
"Oh, yes, you do think it. It's your old idea, the idea that has kept
Europe back--I mean the idea that women are always thinking of men. If
a girl breaks off her engagement, every one says: 'Oh, she had some
one else in her mind; she hopes to get some one else.' It's disgusting,
brutal! As if a girl can't break it off for the sake of freedom."
He answered reverently: "I may have said that in the past. I shall never
say it again. You have taught me better."
She began to redden, and pretended to examine the windows again. "Of
course, there is no question of 'some one else' in this, no 'jilting' or
any such nauseous stupidity. I beg your pardon most humbly if my words
suggested that there was. I only meant that there was a force in you
that I hadn't known of up till now."
"All right, Cecil, that will do. Don't apologize to me. It was my
mistake."
"It is a question between ideals, yours and mine--pure abstract ideals,
and yours are the nobler. I was bound up in the old vicious notions,
and all the time you were splendid and new." His voice broke. "I must
actually thank you for what you have done--for showing me what I really
am. Solemnly, I thank you for showing me a true woman. Will you shake
hands?"
"Of course I will," said Lucy, twisting up her other hand in the
curtains. "Good-night, Cecil. Good-bye. That's all right. I'm sorry
about it. Thank you very much for your gentleness."
"Let me light your candle, shall I?"
They went into the hall.
"Thank you. Good-night again. God bless you, Lucy!"
"Good-bye, Cecil."
She watched him steal up-stairs, while the shadows from three banisters
passed over her face like the beat of wings. On the landing he paused
strong in his renunciation, and gave her a look of memorable beauty. For
all his culture, Cecil was an ascetic at heart, and nothing in his love
became him like the leaving of it.
She could never marry. In the tumult of her soul, that stood firm. Cecil
believed in her; she must some day believe in herself. She must be one
of the women whom she had praised so eloquently, who care for liberty
and not for men; she must forget that George loved her, that George had
been thinking through her and gained her this honourable release, that
George had gone
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