MEMORABLE SUCCESS IN EVENTUALLY OBTAINING, EACH AND EVERY
ONE, A SIGHT OF THE ENTIRE AND UNADULTERATED

ANIMAL,

FROM THE PRIMITIVE HAIR ON HIS ATTENUATED PROBOSCIS, TO THE
LAST KINK OF HIS SYMMETRICAL TAIL.

COMPILED
BY ME,
KNIGHT RUSS OCKSIDE, M.D.,
AND ME,
Q.K. PHILANDER DOESTICKS, P.B.

PREFACE.

This book has been written by the Authors, and printed by the
Publishers, in the hope that it may be purchased by the Public. If it
proves to be a failure, the responsibility must rest with the People who
don't buy it.

CONTENTS.

HOW THEY MET.
PAGE

What there wasn't--What there was--A fancied recognition--Singular
coincidences--Preamble and resolution--A third party--A fourth
party--Accusation of petty larceny--Satisfactory explanation--Spirits
in the closet--A mysterious letter--Alarm of Boggs--More mystery--A
murder anticipated--The reason why--A perplexing predicament--A
philanthropist discovered--A general embrace--An astonishing
statement 11

HOW THE CLUB ORGANIZED.

The second meeting--A learned dissertation--A document--Rules--Preliminary
speeches and criticisms--Order of business--An election--Congratulations
--The dinner 35

THE ELEPHANTINE DEN.

Its location--The furniture and its arrangements--A sentinel
elected--Punishment for intrusion--Resolutions adopted 47

FIRST DISCOVERIES OF THE CLUB.

A new character--A glimpse at the animal--A tall talker--A
proposal--Discovery of a group of street-statuary--A pistol-gallery
--Bowling-alley--The oriental elephant--Novel pipes--Oriental
experience--A member frightened--A new character--Playing
Turk--Ceremony of initiation--Art in conchology--Astonishment of
Johnny Cake--Engine No. 32-1/4.--The rope breaks--Hose 24-3/8--The
race--Mixed-up spectacle--A general row after the fight--The Club
resolved 55

FIRST EVENING WITH THE CLUB.

Preliminary proceedings--Bobington Thomas confesses his profession--Thomas
and his dogs--New York dog-pound--Thomas accepts silver--Mr.
James George Boggs--Johnny Cake's railroad experience--A malignant
conductor--A passenger sings--A second passenger wakes and joins in
the chorus--Song interrupted by an accident--Results of t