o live the life that was soul
satisfying--the life that brought forth fruits. In all the years of her
prosperity, in the midst of the gayeties and luxuries, she had secretly
longed for something she never found, and in one sense it had not been
hard for her to give up the life of ease and idleness, because she had
hoped to find in the new duties a new peace and satisfaction, had hoped
to live up to her ideal of a noble woman, and it was with her whole
heart she had promised her husband her help and sympathy, but in all the
eighteen months, she had been but a burden; even calm forbearance and
cheerfulness had ceased to be virtues. The children, not having a
nursery, must needs be anywhere and everywhere, and in spite of her
efforts to the contrary, their noise annoyed her.

To-night she sat thinking it all over, in one of her most despondent
moods, for be it said to her credit, things did not always appear as
gloomy as she represented them to herself.

The ruddy firelight flickered over her in fitful gleams of light and
shadow. The children were out romping in the twilight, enjoying the
first snow of the season. Her husband had not yet returned from the
store.

What was the use, anyway, pursued the relentless conscience--even the
wish to be good was always choked by a complete forgetfulness; and
before she could catch her breath the words were out, so, although she
had believed nearly all her life that one might grow into goodness, she
was quite rebellious to-night with the thought of its impossibility, and
she felt bitter, too, to think of the long years of uselessness
stretching out before her. Scarcely thirty-five and yet she felt like a
cross, crabbed old woman, and shuddered to think of all the years to
come, if they were to be like the past, and there seemed no help for it
unless she could conquer herself. The doctor had done what he could to
cure her dyspepsia but she was a veritable slave to her capricious
stomach. She felt one of her oft-recurring sick headaches coming on and
every thought grew blacker and more disconsolate. Oh! she wished supper
were over and the children safe in bed, so she could be free from their
noise, and here they come! she thought, as a great stamping and laughing
was heard in the hall.

"Oh, mamma! such lovely snowflakes, just like a fairy's quilt, and they
have been falling all over us till we're like people in frost land. Just
look, mamma!" cried Mabel, who liked a romp as well as