with both hands, and, oblivious to the hopeful derision
Gathering on the faces of those about me, I breathed into it all the
despair and anguish of my expiring breath. It gave forth a hollow,
soulless, and lugubrious squeak, utterly out of proportion to the vital
force expended, yet I felt that I had triumphed, and detected a new
expression of awe and admiration on the faces of my flock.

"I don't see how she done it," I heard one freckled-faced boy exclaim,
confidingly to another; "with a hull button in thar'!"

"Who put the button in the horn?" I inquired of the youngster afterwards,
quite in a pleasant tone, and with a smile on which I had learned to
depend for a particularly delusive effect; at the same time I put up my
glasses to impress him with a sense of awe.

"Simmy B.," he answered.

"And which is Simmy B.?" I questioned, glancing about the school-room.

"Oh, he ain't comin' in," gasped my informer; "he run over cross-lots
with Emily's clo's on."

I had planned not to confine my pupils to the ordinary method of imbibing
knowledge through the medium of text-books, but by means of lectures,
which should be interspersed with lively anecdotes and rich with the
fruitful products of my own experience, to teach them.

My first lecture was, quite appropriately, on the duty of close
application and faithful persistence in the acquisition of knowledge,
depicting the results that would inevitably accrue from the observance of
such a course, and here, glowing and dazzled by my theme, I even secretly
regretted that modesty forbade me to recommend to my pupils, as a
forcible illustration, one who occupied so conspicuous a position before
them.

My new method of instruction, though not appreciated, perhaps, in its
intrinsic design, was received, I could not but observe, with the most
unbounded favor.

After the first open-mouthed surprise had passed away from the
countenances of my audience, I was loudly importuned on all sides for
water. I was myself extravagantly thirsty. I requested all those who had
"slit herrin'" for breakfast to raise their hands.

Every hand was raised.

I gravely inquired if slit herrin' formed an ordinary or accustomed
repast in Wallencamp, and was unanimously assured in the affirmative.

After dwelling briefly on the gratitude that should fill our hearts in
view of the unnumbered blessings of Providence, I inaugurated a system by
which a pail of fresh water was to be drawn from one o