controlled and ordered It. I distinctly
remember the thought taking shape in my mind that Mr. Disraeli ought
to know about it! Meantime, my concern was, as far as might be, to
relieve my father of anxiety, and so minimise as much as possible the
effects of a palpable miscarriage of justice.

The thing has a rather absurd and pompous effect as I set it down on
paper; but I have stated it truly, none the less, however awkwardly.

The fact that I had known no mother, combined with the progressive
weakening of my father's health and peace of mind during the previous
year or so, may probably have influenced my attitude in all such
matters, may have given a partly feminine quality to my affection for
my father. I know it seemed to me unfitting that he should ever take
any part in our domestic work on the _Livorno_, and very natural that
I should attend to all such matters. Also I had felt, ever since the
day in Richmond Park when, to some extent, he gave me his confidence
regarding the severance of his connection with the London newspaper
office, that my father needed 'looking after,' that it was desirable
for him to be taken care of and spared as much as possible; and that,
obviously, I was the person to see to it. Our departure from England
had been rather a pleasure than otherwise for me, because it had
seemed to place my father more completely in my hands. Such an
attitude may or may not have been natural and desirable in so young a
boy; I only know that it was mine at that time.

It follows therefore that I told my father we could perfectly well
manage without Ted, though, as a fact, I viewed the prospect, not with
misgiving so much as with very real regret. I had grown to like Ted
very well in the few months he had spent with us, and to this day I am
gratefully conscious of the practical use and value of many lessons
learned from this simple teacher, who was so notably wanting, by the
Werrina storekeeper's way of it, in 'Systum.' A more uniformly kindly
fellow I do not think I have ever met. The world would probably
pronounce him an idler, and it is certain he would never have
accumulated money; but he was not really idle. On the contrary, he was
full of activity, and of simple, kindly enthusiasms. Rut his chosen
forms of activity rarely led him to the production of what is
marketable, and he very quickly wearied of any set routine.

'Spare me days!' Ted cried, when my father, with some
circumlocutionary hesitancy