bout dissolving of Marriages and spoiling of Fortunes, impoverishing
rich and ruining great People, interrupting Beauties in the midst of
their Conquests, and Generals in the Course of their Victories. A
boisterous Peripatetick hardly goes through a Street without waking half
a Dozen Kings and Princes to open their Shops or clean Shoes, frequently
transforming Sceptres into Paring-Shovels, and Proclamations into Bills.
I have by me a Letter from a young Statesman, who in five or six Hours
came to be Emperor of _Europe_, after which he made War upon the Great
Turk, routed him Horse and Foot, and was crowned Lord of the Universe in
_Constantinople_: the Conclusion of all his Successes is, that on the
12th Instant, about Seven in the Morning, his Imperial Majesty was
deposed by a Chimney--Sweeper.

On the other hand, I have Epistolary Testimonies of Gratitude from many
miserable People, who owe to this clamorous Tribe frequent Deliverances
from great Misfortunes. A Small-coalman, [1] by waking of one of these
distressed Gentlemen, saved him from ten Years Imprisonment. An honest
Watchman bidding aloud Good-morrow to another, freed him from the Malice
of many potent Enemies, and brought all their Designs against him to
nothing. A certain Valetudinarian confesses he has often been cured of a
sore Throat by the Hoarseness of a Carman, and relieved from a Fit of
the Gout by the Sound of _old Shoes_. A noisy Puppy that plagued a sober
Gentleman all Night long with his Impertinence, was silenced by a
Cinder-Wench with a Word speaking.

Instead therefore of suppressing this Order of Mortals, I would propose
it to my Readers to make the best Advantage of their Morning
Salutations. A famous _Macedonian_ Prince, for fear of forgetting
himself in the midst of his good Fortune, had a Youth to wait on him
every Morning, and bid him remember that he was a Man. A Citizen who is
waked by one of these Criers, may regard him as a kind of Remembrancer,
come to admonish him that it is time to return to the Circumstances he
has overlooked all the Night-time, to leave off fancying himself what he
is not, and prepare to act suitably to the Condition he is really placed
in.

People may dream on as long as they please, but I shall take no Notice
of any Imaginary Adventures that do not happen while the Sun is on this
Side of the Horizon. For which Reason I stifle _Fritilla's_ Dream at
Church last _Sunday_, who while the rest of the Audience were