entleman's Daughters; for out of their abundant Generosity, they give
me the choice of four. _Jack_, begins my Father, Mrs. _Catherine_ is a
fine Woman--Yes, Sir, but she is rather too old--She will make the
more discreet Manager, Boy. Then my Mother plays her part. Is not Mrs.
_Betty_ exceeding fair? Yes, Madam, but she is of no Conversation; she
has no Fire, no agreeable Vivacity; she neither speaks nor looks with
Spirit. True, Son; but for those very Reasons, she will be an easy,
soft, obliging, tractable Creature. After all, cries an old Aunt, (who
belongs to the Class of those who read Plays with Spectacles on) what
think you, Nephew, of proper Mrs. _Dorothy_? What do I think? why I
think she cannot be above six foot two inches high. Well, well, you
may banter as long as you please, but Height of Stature is commanding
and majestick. Come, come, says a Cousin of mine in the Family, I'll
fit him; _Fidelia_ is yet behind--Pretty Miss _Fiddy_ must please
you--Oh! your very humble Servant, dear Cos. she is as much too young
as her eldest Sister is too old. Is it so indeed, quoth she, good Mr.
_Pert_? You who are but barely turned of twenty two, and Miss Fiddy in
half a Year's time will be in her Teens, and she is capable of
learning any thing. Then she will be so observant; she'll cry perhaps
now and then, but never be angry. Thus they will think for me in this
matter, wherein I am more particularly concerned than any Body else.
If I name any Woman in the World, one of these Daughters has certainly
the same Qualities. You see by these few Hints, _Mr._ SPECTATOR, what
a comfortable Life I lead. To be still more open and free with you, I
have been passionately fond of a young Lady (whom give me leave to
call _Miranda_) now for these three Years. I have often urged the
Matter home to my Parents with all the Submission of a Son, but the
Impatience of a Lover. Pray, Sir, think of three Years; what
inexpressible Scenes of Inquietude, what Variety of Misery must I have
gone thro' in three long whole Years? _Miranda's_ Fortune is equal to
those I have mention'd; but her Relations are not Intimates with mine.
Ah! there's the Rub. _Miranda's_ Person, Wit, and Humour, are what the
nicest Fancy could imagine; and though we know you to be so elegant a
Judge of Beauty, yet there is none among all your various Characters
of fine Women preferable to _Miranda_. In a Word,