hat we
leave undone a great many things which we ought to do, and do a
great many things which we ought not to do, and that there is no
health in us: but a great deal of disease and weakness;--disease of
soul, in the way of conceit, pride, selfishness, temper, obstinacy;
weakness, in the way of laziness, fearfulness, and very often of
sheer stupidity; we do not see, or rather will not take the trouble
to see, what we ought to do, and how to do it. And therefore, we
must be, or rather ought to be, dissatisfied with ourselves; and our
consciences accuse us when we lie down at night, of a hundred petty
miserable mistakes, which we ought to have avoided. We are
continually knowing what is right, and doing what is wrong, till we
get deservedly angry with ourselves; and think at times, that God
must be deservedly angry with us; that we are such poor paltry
creatures that he can only look on us with dislike and contempt:
and even worse; that, perhaps, he does not care to see us mend; that
our struggles to do right are of no value in his eyes: but that he
has sternly left us to ourselves, to struggle through life, right or
wrong, as best we may; and to be punished at last, for all that we
have done amiss.

Such thoughts will cross our minds. They have crossed the minds of
all mankind since the first man's conscience awoke, and he
discovered that he was not a brute animal, by finding in himself
that awful thought, which no brute animal can have--'I have done
wrong.' And therefore the consciences of men will cry for pardon,
just in proportion as they are worthy of the name of men, and not
merely a superior sort of animals; and therefore just in proportion
as our souls are alive in us, alive with the feeling of duty, of
justice, of purity, of love, of a just and orderly God above--just
in that proportion shall we be tormented by the difference between
what we are, and what we ought to be; and the sense of sin, and the
longing for pardon, will be more keen in us; and we shall have no
rest till the sins are got rid of, and the pardon sure. That is the
price we pay for having immortal souls. It is a heavy price truly:
but it is well worth the paying, if it be only paid aright. If that
tormenting feeling of being continually wrong in this life, ends by
making us continually right for ever in the world to come; if Christ
be formed in us at last; if out of our sinful and mortal manhood a
sinless and immortal manhood is born;-