w I got a job,
As storeman down at Jones' printin' joint,
A decent sorter cop at fifty bob.

Then things get 'ome-like; an' we torks till late,
An' tries to tease Doreen to fix the date,
An' she gits suddin soft and tender-like,
An' cries a bit, when we parts at the gate.

An' as I'm moochin' 'omeward frum the car
A suddin notion stops me wiv a jar--
Wot if Doreen, I thinks, should grow to be,
A fat ole weepin' willer like 'er Mar!

O, 'struth! It won't bear thinkin' of! It's crook!
An' I'm a mean, unfeelin' dawg to look
At things like that. Doreen's Doreen to me,
The sweetest peach on w'ich a man wus shook.

'Er "pore dear Par"...I s'pose 'e 'ad 'is day,
An' kissed an' smooged an' loved 'er in 'is way.
An' wed an' took 'is chances like a man--
But, Gawd, this splicin' racket ain't all play.

Love is a gamble, an' there ain't no certs.
Some day, I s'pose, I'll git wise to the skirts,
An' learn to take the bitter wiv the sweet...
But, strike me purple! "Willy!" THAT'S wot 'urts.

IX. Pilot Cove

Young friend," 'e sez...Young friend!
Well, spare me days!
Yeh'd think I wus 'is own white-'eaded boy--
The queer ole finger, wiv 'is gentle ways.
"Young friend," 'e sez, "I wish't yeh bofe great joy."
The langwidge that them parson blokes imploy
Fair tickles me. The way'e bleats an' brays!
"Young friend," 'e sez.

"Young friend," 'e sez...Yes, my Doreen an' me
We're gettin' hitched, all straight an' on the square.
Fer when I torks about the registry--
O 'oly wars! yeh should 'a' seen 'er stare;
"The registry?" she sez, "I wouldn't dare!
I know a clergyman we'll go an' see"...
"Young friend," 'e sez.

"Young friend," 'e sez. An' then 'e chats me straight;
An' spouts of death, an' 'ell, an' mortal sins.
"You reckernize this step you contemplate
Is grave? 'e sez. An' I jist stan's an' grins;
Fer when I chips, Doreen she kicks me shins.
"Yes, very 'oly is the married state,
Young friend," 'e sez.

"Young friend," 'e sez. An' then 'e mags a lot
Of jooty an' the spiritchuil life,
To which I didn't tumble worth a jot.
"I'm sure," 'e sez, "as you will 'ave a wife
'Oo'll 'ave a noble infl'ince on yer life.
'Oo is 'er gardjin?" I sez, "'Er ole pot"--
"Young friend!" 'e sez.

"Young friend," 'e sez. "Oh fix yer thorts on 'igh!
Orl mar