ran, but I thought of the joy of bathing them in the tank, and that
made the wounds sweet to me.... My Father, I have heard of the
temptations which in times past assailed the holy Solitaries of the
desert, flattering the reluctant flesh beyond resistance; but none, I
think, could have surpassed in ecstasy that first touch of the water on
my limbs. To prolong the joy I let myself slip in slowly, resting my
hands on the edge of the tank, and smiling to see my body, as I lowered
it, break up the shining black surface and shatter the starbeams into
splinters. And the water, my Father, seemed to crave me as I craved it.
Its ripples rose about me, first in furtive touches, then in a long
embrace that clung and drew me down; till at length they lay like
kisses on my lips. It was no frank comrade like the mountain pools of
my childhood, but a secret playmate compassionating my pains and
soothing them with noiseless hands. From the first I thought of it as
an accomplice--its whisper seemed to promise me secrecy if I would
promise it love. And I went back and back to it, my Father; all day I
lived in the thought of it; each night I stole to it with fresh
thirst....

But at length the old portress died, and a young lay-sister took her
place. She was a light sleeper, and keen-eared; and I knew the danger
of venturing to her cell. I knew the danger, but when darkness came I
felt the water drawing me. The first night I fought on my bed and held
out; but the second I crept to her door. She made no motion when I
entered, but rose up secretly and stole after me; and the second night
she warned the Abbess, and the two came on me as I stood by the tank.

I was punished with terrible penances: fasting, scourging,
imprisonment, and the privation of drinking water; for the Abbess stood
amazed at the obduracy of my sin, and was resolved to make me an
example to my fellows. For a month I endured the pains of hell; then
one night the Saracen pirates fell on our convent. On a sudden the
darkness was full of flames and blood; but while the other nuns ran
hither and thither, clinging to the Abbess's feet or shrieking on the
steps of the altar, I slipped through an unwatched postern and made my
way to the hills. The next day the Emperor's soldiery descended on the
carousing heathen, slew them and burned their vessels on the beach; the
Abbess and nuns were rescued, the convent walls rebuilt, and peace
restored to the holy precincts. All this I hea