se her boldly:
she remains confused and speechless, casting a look on me that would have
disarmed a demon, but which my barbarous heart resisted. At length, she
denied it with firmness, but without anger, exhorting me to return to
myself, and not injure an innocent girl who had never wronged me. With
infernal impudence, I confirmed my accusation, and to her face maintained
she had given me the ribbon: on which, the poor girl, bursting into
tears, said these words--"Ah, Rousseau! I thought you a good
disposition--you render me very unhappy, but I would not be in your
situation." She continued to defend herself with as much innocence as
firmness, but without uttering the least invective against me. Her
moderation, compared to my positive tone, did her an injury; as it did
not appear natural to suppose, on one side such diabolical assurance; on
the other, such angelic mildness. The affair could not be absolutely
decided, but the presumption was in my favor; and the Count de la Roque,
in sending us both away, contented himself with saying, "The conscience
of the guilty would revenge the innocent." His prediction was true, and
is being daily verified.
I am ignorant what became of the victim of my calumny, but there is
little probability of her having been able to place herself agreeably
after this, as she labored under an imputation cruel to her character in
every respect. The theft was a trifle, yet it was a theft, and, what was
worse, employed to seduce a boy; while the lie and obstinacy left nothing
to hope from a person in whom so many vices were united. I do not even
look on the misery and disgrace in which I plunged her as the greatest
evil: who knows, at her age, whither contempt and disregarded innocence
might have led her?--Alas! if remorse for having made her unhappy is
insupportable, what must I have suffered at the thought of rendering her
even worse than myself. The cruel remembrance of this transaction,
sometimes so troubles and disorders me, that, in my disturbed slumbers,
I imagine I see this poor girl enter and reproach me with my crime,
as though I had committed it but yesterday. While in easy tranquil
circumstances, I was less miserable on this account, but, during a
troubled agitated life, it has robbed me of the sweet consolation of
persecuted innocence, and made me wofully experience, what, I think, I
have remarked in some of my works, that remorse sleeps in the calm
sunshine of prosperity,
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