ch love to spend,
and I poured it all out, I deluged my idol with it, instead of doling
it carefully through the future years. Like the woman of Bethany, I
have broken my box of alabaster, and spilled all my precious ointment,
which might have served for a lifetime of anointing, and I cannot
renew the shattered receptacle, nor gather back the wasted fragrance;
and so my heart must remain without spikenard or balm during its
earthly sojourn. I have been prodigal,--have beggared my womanly
nature,--and henceforth shall feast on husks. But this piece of folly
can be laid on no shoulders but my own, and I must not wince if they
are galled by burdens which only I have imposed. Some women, under
similar circumstances, console themselves by fostering a tender and
excessive gratitude, which they pet and fondle and call second love;
but the feeling belongs to a different species, and is to strong,
earnest, genuine love, what the stunted pines of second growth are to
the noble, stalwart, unapproachable oaks, that spring from the
primitive virgin soil."

Miss Jane lifted the bowed face, and rested the head against her
bosom.

"If you are so thoroughly convinced of the impossibility of mastering
this affection, why talk of going away? You will be happier here,
under any circumstances, than among strangers."

"Do not misapprehend me. I do not intend to cherish my weakness,--to
caress and pamper it. I mean to strangle, and mangle, and bury it, if
possible. I meant, not that I should always love Dr. Grey, but that I
should never be able to regard any one else as I once loved him. I can
not stay here, seeing him daily trample my alabaster and ointment
under his feet. I can not endure the humiliation that has for some
days past made this house more intolerable than I may one day find
Phlegethon. I want to go into the whirl and din of life, where my
thoughts can dwell on some more comforting theme than the peerless
preeminence of the man who is master here, where I can spend hours in
elaborating _toilettes_ and _coiffures_ that will show to the greatest
advantage my small stock of personal charms; where the admiration and
love of other men will at least amuse and soothe the heart that has no
more love for anybody, or anything. Miss Jane, if I had never become
so deeply attached to Dr. Grey, it might perhaps be unsafe for me to
venture into the career which now lies before me; but when a woman's
heart is cold and dead in her bosom, th