and smacks him on
the back._

_Vapid._ Prologue or epilogue!--I'm the man--I'll write you both.

_Lord._ There he is again!

_Lady._ Oh! I shall faint with vexation!--My lord, I desire you'll
misinterpret nothing--every thing shall be explained to you.--Marianne!

_Lord._ Here's the curtain up with a vengeance!

_Enter MARIANNE._

_Lady._ Answer me directly, how came that gentleman in this apartment? I
know it is some trick of yours.

_Vapid._ [_Coming down the stage._] To be sure, never any thing was so
fortunate!--upon my soul, I beg your pardon; but, curse me, if I can
help laughing, to think how lucky it was for you both I happened to be
behind the sofa!--ha! ha! ha!

_Mari._ [_As if taking the hint._] 'Faith, no more can I--to be sure it
was the luckiest thing in the world! ha! ha! ha!

[_Here they both laugh loud, and point to my LORD, and
LADY WAITFOR'T, who stand, between them in amazement._

_Lady._ Sir, I insist you lay aside this levity, and instantly explain
how you came in this room.

_Lord._ Ay, sir,--explain.

_Vapid._ Never fear, old lady--I'll bring you off, depend on't.

_Lady._ Bring me off, sir! speak out, sir, how came you in this
apartment?

_Vapid._ With all my heart--by her ladyship's own appointment.

_Lady._ My own appointment!----I shall run wild.

_Vapid._ To be sure you have hardly forgot your own hand writing.

_Lord._ Her own hand writing!--get on, sir,--I beseech you, get on.

_Vapid._ Why, look ye, old Scratch,--you seem to be an admirer of this
lady's.--Now I think it my duty as a moral dramatist--a moral dramatist,
sir, mark that--to expose hypocrisy--therefore, sir, there is the
letter, read it, and be convinced of your error.

_Lord._ Very well; have you done, sir--have you done?--consider I'm a
peer of the realm, and I shall die if I don't talk.

_Vapid._ And now, sir, I must beg a favour of you--[_Gets close to
him._]--keep the whole affair secret, for if it gets hacknied, it loses
its force.--To bring it all on the stage: hush! say nothing--it will
have a capital effect, and brother bards will wonder where I stole
it--your situation will be wonderful--you hav'n't an idea how ridiculous
you will look--you will laugh very much at yourself, I assure you.

_Lord._ What is all this! Well, now I will speak--I'll wait no longer.

_Vapid._ Yes, yes, I shall take care of you,--Falstaff in the buck
basket will be nothing to it--he was only the