when I says go to the colonel and out with it
all, like a man--now don't you?"

"Yes, yes. I'll wait my time," said Dick; and he added, softly, "If I
live."

"And then, as soon as things are a bit different to what you like, back
you goes to the old style, and begins giving your orders. Now just
fancy me going to the guvnor's quarters and saying to him, `Hi! you,
sir, you're not to bring Miss Deane to the horspittle to-day.'

"`Who says so?' says he.

"`Dick Smithson, Esquire.'

"And then he says, `You go and tell Dick Smithson he's a common soldier,
and if he ever dares to send me such a message as that again, I'll
report him to the colonel for insubordination'--that's the word, sir,
`insubordination.' I've picked up a deal since I've been in the army;
and, as we used to learn at school--and precious little it
was!--`positive insolence; comparytive, insubordination: s'perlative
mutiny.'"

"Yes, Jerry, you're right; I forget myself sometimes," sighed Dick.

"Sometimes! Why, you've forgot yourself altogether. Come now, let me
give you a spick up, and make you look a little more like old times.
Now then, just a little shampoo."

"No, no."

"And the scissors put round your 'air a bit. Shave wouldn't hurt you
neither."

"I wish you wouldn't worry me, Jerry."

"I won't worry you; only you can't see a lady as you are, you know--
Don't want to--keep your eyes shut, please--to see you a bit o' dandy,
like Mr Lacey. Feel nice and cool, eh?"

Dick nodded, and suffered Jerry to place his hands on each side of the
basin of water planted upon his knees, so as to keep it steady.

"Nothing like a soft sponge, cold water, and a bit o' scented soap--
those are Mr Lacey's--to comfort you up. Of course, it depends on the
oppyrator. I've seen women soaping little kids and making 'em squirm
and yell, when I've felt as I could ha' washed the poor little things
and made 'em laugh all the time.--This is one of Mr Lacey's towels,
too--he wouldn't mind me bringing 'em. I say, though, you are a deal
better. Fortni't ago you'd have shrunk like if I'd touched you even as
tender as that."

"What's that--pomatum?"

"Pomatum! As if I'd use pomatum to a gent's 'air or a private's either.
No, that's a cream made from a prescription I gave a 'airdresser half a
soverin' for. Violets is nothing to it in the way o' smell. I won't
quite shampoo you to-day, but give you just an extra brush. You want
freshening--that's all--