tunate beauty that they had really loved, that a
red-and-white mask stood between my own parents' hearts and that of
their child. Out of sheer admiration and worship, they had less
fondness for me than for any of their other children.

"'But for this would they not have found time in the course of the
whole year since I have left them, to comprehend that what I had run
away from could not have made me happy, and that I was not necessarily
a bad daughter, because unable to gratify them in that respect? But no,
they have remained as hard as stone, hard as no one could be to any
living creature who had a soul, but only towards a soulless picture
such as they had long considered me, and as such set me up for show. It
is true that while I remained at Speyer they might have hoped that I
should change my mind. But my stay there was but short. My old aunt was
accustomed to a very quiet life. Now when a beauty suddenly made her
appearance in the house, whom all young men followed, and that visits
and enquiries became incessant, and this person and that were always
bringing me an offer from some one or other, it was too much for the
good woman to bear. She told me one day that I could not remain any
longer with her, but that she had found me a very good situation with a
baroness who lived on her estates near Munich, and wanted a governess
for her two little daughters; and as I had been well educated, could
speak French and play the pianoforte, my aunt had arranged it all, and
I was to set off the next day but one.

"'I was very much pleased at this; I longed to begin life on my own
account, and earn my own bread. But this too was to be a failure, and
again there was no one to blame but this hateful face that I cannot get
rid of. Well, to make a long story short, the baroness and the children
took to me and I to them, and during the first days when we were alone,
everything went well. Then came the baron from the city to pay us a
visit, and instantly the sky changed; he behaved, indeed, very
politely, only that he made the usual face of amazement which I am so
sick of, and that all people make who see me for the first time. I,
indeed, am accustomed to it, take no notice, and go my way quietly, but
the gracious lady, who had not seen that expression on her husband's
face before, could not take it so easily, and the end of the matter
was, that on the following day, after a very lively discussion between
the master and mistress of t