f his
frantic outbursts, or delirious grief, but from a certain suppressed
wildness that tried to smile while the teeth chattered, a quite aimless
way now of walking, now standing still; speaking to himself and
laughing loud, while the tears, of which he seemed unconscious, rolled
down his cheeks. It was the first time that I had ever seen the
elemental throes of a true and deep passion, and I was so shocked that
I forgot all besides, and at all events never presumed to attempt
consoling the poor fellow by commonplaces.

I remained with him the whole day and a good part of the night. It was
only about midnight, when I saw that he was quite exhausted (he had not
closed his eyes the previous night), that I yielded to his entreaties,
and consented to leave him alone, after exacting a solemn promise from
his landlady to listen how he went on, for that he was very ill. I knew
he had no weapons of any kind, and I hoped that sleep would do him some
good.

The next morning, however, I could not rest, reproached myself for
having left him, and anxiously hurried to his lodgings. But there he
was no longer to be found. His landlady gave me a note of two lines, in
which he bade me farewell for the present. He could not rest till he
had found her, but he would do nothing rash, for he was not unmindful
of his other duties, and so I might confidently expect his return.

He had packed his knapsack, and taken his walking-stick with him. And
the landlady told me he seemed to have had two or three hours sleep,
for that his eyes looked clearer.

This was but meagre information, but I had to content myself with it.
And moreover I was about to accompany my parents on a tour which kept
me absent for several weeks. To the letters I wrote--for I was always
thinking of him--no answers ever came, so on my return when my first
walk led me to his lodgings, I was fully prepared to find an empty
nest. I was the more rejoiced, therefore, when he himself opened the
door, and I met a sad face, it is true, but free from the morbidly
strained expression which had so much pained me.

That he had failed to meet with any traces of the lost one I guessed
rather than actually heard from him. A melancholy indifference seemed
to pervade him; he set about whatever was proposed, as one who took no
part in it, whether for or against,--and what to me was most striking
of all, his passion for music seemed completely over. He never sang a
single note, never allu