FREE BOOKS

Author's List




PREV.   NEXT  
|<   128   129   130   131   132   133   134   135   136   137   138   139   140   >>  
die absolutely certain that you love me." Her breast heaved, and under the carriage rug her hand found mine and clasped it. We did not look at each other. In a thick voice I called to the coachman to stop. I got out, and the vehicle passed on. If I had stayed with her, I should have wept in sight of the whole street. I ate no dinner that evening, but spent the hours in wandering up and down the long verdurous alleys in the neighborhood of the Arc de Triomphe. I was sure of Rosa's love, and that thought gave me a certain invigoration. But to be sure of a woman's love when that love means torture and death to you is not a complete and perfect happiness. No, my heart was full of bitterness and despair, and my mind invaded by a miserable weakness. I pitied myself, and at the same time I scorned myself. After all, the ghost had no actual power over me; a ghost cannot stab, cannot throttle, cannot shoot. A ghost can only act upon the mind, and if the mind is feeble enough to allow itself to be influenced by an intangible illusion, then-- But how futile were such arguments! Whatever the power might be, the fact that the ghost had indeed a power over me was indisputable. All day I had felt the spectral sword of it suspended above my head. My timid footsteps lingering on the way to the hotel sufficiently proved its power. The experiences of the previous night might be merely subjective--conceptions of the imagination--but they were no less real, no less fatal to me on that account. Once I had an idea of not going to the hotel that night at all. But of what use could such an avoidance be? The apparition was bound by no fetters to that terrible sitting-room of mine. I might be put to the ordeal anywhere, even here in the thoroughfares of the city, and upon the whole I preferred to return to my lodging. Nay, I was the victim of a positive desire for that scene of my torture. I returned. It was eleven o'clock. The apparition awaited me. But this time it was not seated in the chair. It stood with its back to the window, and its gaze met mine as I entered the room. I did not close the door, and my eyes never left its face. The sneer on its thin lips was bitterer, more devilishly triumphant, than before. Erect, motionless, and inexorable, the ghost stood there, and it seemed to say: "What is the use of leaving the door open? You dare not escape. You cannot keep away from me. To-night you shall die of sheer terror." With a
PREV.   NEXT  
|<   128   129   130   131   132   133   134   135   136   137   138   139   140   >>  



Top keywords:

apparition

 

torture

 
avoidance
 

escape

 

sitting

 

leaving

 

account

 

terrible

 

fetters

 

experiences


previous

 

terror

 

proved

 

sufficiently

 

footsteps

 

lingering

 
imagination
 

conceptions

 

subjective

 

seated


awaited

 

bitterer

 

window

 

entered

 
eleven
 

devilishly

 

preferred

 
return
 

motionless

 
thoroughfares

inexorable
 
lodging
 

returned

 

triumphant

 

victim

 

positive

 

desire

 
ordeal
 
dinner
 

evening


street

 
stayed
 
wandering
 

Triomphe

 

thought

 

neighborhood

 
verdurous
 

alleys

 

passed

 

clasped