only knew----"

"Yes, yes; I know, I know. You have suffered, and it is not for me to
reproach you. The novitiate has its great joys, but it has its great
trials also. Self has to be got rid of, faith has to be exerted,
obedience has to be learned, and, above all, the heart has to be detached
from its idols in the world--a devoted mother, it may be; a dear sister;
perhaps a dearer one still."

There was silence for a moment. John's head was down; he could not speak.

"That you wish to return to the world only shows that you came before you
heard the call of God. Some other voice seemed to speak to you, and you
listened and thought it was God's voice. But God's voice will come to you
yet, and you will hear it and answer it and not another---- Have you
anywhere to go to when you leave this house?"

"Yes, the home of a good woman. I have written to her--I think she will
receive me."

"All that you brought with you will be returned, and if you want
money----"

"No, I came to you as a beggar--let me leave you as a beggar too."

"There is one thing more, my son."

"What is it, Father?"

The old man's voice was scarcely audible. "You are breaking obedience by
leaving us before the end of your novitiate, and the community must
separate itself from you, though you are only a novice, as from one who
has violated his vow and cast himself off from grace. This will have to
be done before you cross our threshold. It is our duty to the
Brotherhood--it is also our duty to God. You understand that?"

"Yes."

"It will be in the church, a few minutes before midday service."

The Father rose to go. "Then that is all?"

"That is all."

The Father's voice was breaking. "Good-bye, my son."

"Good-bye, Father, and God forgive me!"

A leather trunk which John had brought with him on the day he came to the
Brotherhood was returned to his room, containing the clothes he had worn
in the outer world, as well as his purse and watch and other belongings.
He dressed himself in his habit as a clergyman, and put the cassock of
the society over it, for he knew that to remove that must be part of the
ordeal of his expulsion. Then the bell rang for breakfast, and he went
down to the refectory.

The brothers received him in silence, hardly looking up as he entered,
though by their furtive glances he could plainly see that he was the only
subject that occupied their thoughts. When the meal was over he tried to
mingle among them, that he