Washington would joke himself, though it was always somewhat
labored, as in the case of the Jack already cited. "Without a coinage," he
wrote, "or unless a stop can be put to the cutting and clipping of money,
our dollars, pistareens, &c., will be converted, as Teague says, into
_five_ quarters." When the Democrats were charging the Federalists with
having stolen from the treasury, he wrote to a Cabinet official, "and
pray, my good sir, what part of the $800.000 have come to your share? As
you are high in Office, I hope you did not disgrace yourself in the
acceptance of a paltry bribe--a $100.000 perhaps." He once even attempted
a pun, by writing, "our enterprise will be ruined, and we shall be stopped
at the Laurel Hill this winter; but not to gather laurels, (except of the
kind that covers the mountains)."

Probably the neatest turn was his course on one occasion with General
Tryon, who sent him some British proclamations with the request, "that
through your means, the officers and men under your command may be
acquainted with their contents." Washington promptly replied that he had
given them "free currency among the officers and men under my command,"
and enclosed to Tryon a lot of the counter-proclamation, asking him to "be
instrumental in communicating its contents, so far as it may be in your
power, to the persons who are the objects of its operation. The benevolent
purpose it is intended to answer will I persuade myself, sufficiently
recommend it to your candor."

To a poetess who had sent him some laudatory verses about himself he
expressed his thanks, and added, "Fiction is to be sure the very life and
Soul of Poetry--all Poets and Poetesses have been indulged in the free and
indisputable use of it, time out of mind. And to oblige you to make such
an excellent Poem on such a subject without any materials but those of
simple reality, would be as cruel as the Edict of Pharoah which compelled
the children of Israel to manufacture Bricks without the necessary
Ingredients."

Twice he joked about his own death. "As I have heard," he said after
Braddock's defeat, "since my arrival at this place, a circumstancial
account of my death and dying speech, I take this early opportunity of
contradicting the first, and of assuring you, that I have not as yet
composed the latter." Many years later, in draughting a letter for his
wife, he wrote,--

"I am now by desire of the General to add a few words on his behalf; which