s too
severely to study of the classics are apt to become dried up; and you
should never do anything to dry up a cow. Well, these ten cows knew
their names after a while, at least they appeared to, and would take
their places as I called them. At least, if Octo attempted to get before
Novem in going through the bars (I have heard people speak of a "pair
of bars" when there were six or eight of them), or into the stable,
the matter of precedence was settled then and there, and, once settled,
there was no dispute about it afterwards. Novem either put her horns
into Octo's ribs, and Octo shambled to one side, or else the two locked
horns and tried the game of push and gore until one gave up. Nothing
is stricter than the etiquette of a party of cows. There is nothing
in royal courts equal to it; rank is exactly settled, and the same
individuals always have the precedence. You know that at Windsor Castle,
if the Royal Three-Ply Silver Stick should happen to get in front of the
Most Royal Double-and-Twisted Golden Rod, when the court is going in to
dinner, something so dreadful would happen that we don't dare to think
of it. It is certain that the soup would get cold while the Golden Rod
was pitching the Silver Stick out of the Castle window into the moat,
and perhaps the island of Great Britain itself would split in two. But
the people are very careful that it never shall happen, so we shall
probably never know what the effect would be. Among cows, as I say, the
question is settled in short order, and in a different manner from what
it sometimes is in other society. It is said that in other society there
is sometimes a great scramble for the first place, for the leadership,
as it is called, and that women, and men too, fight for what is called
position; and in order to be first they will injure their neighbors by
telling stories about them and by backbiting, which is the meanest kind
of biting there is, not excepting the bite of fleas. But in cow society
there is nothing of this detraction in order to get the first place at
the crib, or the farther stall in the stable. If the question arises,
the cows turn in, horns and all, and settle it with one square fight,
and that ends it. I have often admired this trait in COWS.

Besides Latin, I used to try to teach the cows a little poetry, and it
is a very good plan. It does not do the cows much good, but it is very
good exercise for a boy farmer. I used to commit to memory as good