ad: or that, from ignorance and inexperience of the good, I have
given myself to destruction? Well, if thou thinkest that I willingly
prefer the evil to the profitable, and choose death before life, thou
seemest to me, son, completely to have missed the goal in judging.
Dost thou not see to what discomfort and trouble I often expose myself
in mine expeditions against my foes, or when I am engaged in divers
other business for the public good, not sparing myself even hunger and
thirst, if need be, the march on foot, or the couch on the ground? As
for riches and money, such is my contempt and scorn thereof, that I
have at times ungrudgingly lavished all the stores of my palace, to
build mighty temples for the gods, and to adorn them with all manner of
splendour, or else to distribute liberal largess to my soldiers.
Possessing then, as I also do, this contempt of pleasure and this
courage in danger, what zeal would I not have devoted to contemning all
else, and winning my salvation, had I only found that the religion of
the Galileans were better than mine own? But, if thou condemnest me
for ignorance and inexperience of the good, consider how many sleepless
nights I have spent, with some problem before me, oft-times no very
important one, giving myself no rest until I had found the clear and
most apt solution.
Seeing then that I reckon that not even the least of these temporal
concerns is unworthy of thought until all be fitly completed for the
advantage of all and seeing that all (I ween) bear me witness that no
man under the sun can search out secrets with more diligence than I,
how then could I have considered divine things, that call for worship
and serious consideration, unworthy of thought, and not rather have
devoted all my zeal and might, all my mind and soul to the
investigation thereof, to find out the right and the true? Aye, and I
have laboriously sought thereafter. Many nights and days have I spent
thus: many wise and learned men have I called to my council; and with
many of them that are called Christians have I conversed. By untiring
enquiry and ardent search I have discovered the pathway of truth,
witnessed by wise men honoured for their intelligence and wit,--that
there is none other faith than ours. This is the path that we tread
to-day, worshipping the most puissant gods, and holding fast to that
sweet and delightsome life, given by them to all men, fulfilled with
all manner of pleasure and gladnes
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