in us, beat us, slaughter us!--
Yea, they slaughter us and trade
In our corpses and our pelts!

"More, they deem these hideous deeds
Justified--particularly
Towards the noble race of bears--
This they call the Rights of Man!

"Rights of Man? The Rights of Man!
Who bestowed these rights on you?
Surely 'twas not Mother Nature--
She is ne'er unnatural!

"Rights of Man! Who gave to you
All these privileges rare?
Verily it was not Reason--
Ne'er unreasonable she!

"Is it, men, because you roast,
Stew or fry or boil your meat,
Whilst our own is eaten raw,
That you deem yourselves so grand?

"In the end 'tis all the same.
Food alone can ne'er impart
Any worth;--none noble is
Save who nobly acts and feels!

"Are you better, human things,
Just because success attends
All your arts and sciences?
No mere wooden-heads are we!

"Are there not most learned dogs!
Horses, too, that calculate
Quite as well as bankers?--Hares
Who have skill in beating drums?

"Are not beavers most adroit
In the craft of waterworks?
Were not clyster-pipes invented
Through the cleverness of storks?

"Do not asses write critiques?
Do not apes play comedy?
Could there be a greater actress
Than Batavia the ape?

"Do the nightingales not sing?
Is not Freiligrath a bard?
Who e'er sang the lion's praise
Better than his brother mule?

"In the art of dance have I
Gone as far as Raumer quite
In the art of letters--can he
Scribble better than I dance?

"Why should mortal men be placed
O'er us animals? Though high
You may lift your heads, yet low
In those heads your thoughts do crawl.

"Human wights, why better, pray,
Than ourselves? Is it because
Smooth and slippery is your skin?
Snakes have that advantage too!

"Human hordes! two-legged snakes!
Well indeed I understand
That those flapping pantaloons
Must conceal your serpent hides!

"Children, Oh, beware of these
Vile and hairless miscreants!
O my daughters, never trust
Monsters that wear pantaloons!"

But no further will I tell
How this bear with arrogant
Fallacies of equal rights
Raved against the human race

For I too am man, and never