ndition of things, seemed but to bring up this thought more vividly
by very force of contrast.
Eleanor hid the whole within her own heart, and the fire burned there
all the more. Not a sign of it must Mr. Carlisle see; and as for Dr.
Cairnes, Eleanor could never get a chance for a safe talk with him.
Somebody was always near, or might be near. The very effort to hide her
thoughts grew sometimes irksome; and the whirl of engagements and
occupations in which she lived gave her a stifled feeling. She could
not even indulge herself in solitary consideration of that which there
was nobody to help her consider.
She hailed one day the announcement that Mr. Carlisle must let the next
day go by without riding or seeing her. He would be kept away at a town
some miles off, on county business. Mr. Carlisle had a good deal to do
with county politics and county business generally; made himself both
important and popular, and lost no thread of influence he had once
gathered into his hand. So Brompton would have him all the next day,
and Eleanor would have her time to herself.
That she might secure full possession of it, she ordered her pony and
went out alone after luncheon. She could not get free earlier. Now she
took no servant to follow her, and started off alone to the moors. It
was a delicious autumn day, mild and still and mellow. Eleanor got out
of sight or hearing of human habitations; then let her pony please
himself in his paces while she dropped the reins and thought. It was
hardly in Eleanor's nature to have bitter thoughts; they came as near
it on this occasion as they were apt to do; they were very dissatisfied
thoughts. She was on the whole dissatisfied with everybody; herself
most of all, it is true; but her mother and Mr. Carlisle had a share.
She did not want to be married at Christmas; she did not even care
about going to Switzerland, unless by her own good leave asked and
obtained; she was not willing to be managed as a child; yet Eleanor was
conscious that she was no better in Mr. Carlisle's hands. "I wonder
what sort of a master he will make," she thought, "when he has me
entirely in his power? I have no sort of liberty now." It humbled her;
it was her own fault; yet Eleanor liked Mr. Carlisle, and thought that
she loved him. She was young yet and very inexperienced. She also liked
all the splendour of the position he gave her. Yet above the
gratification of this, through the dazzle of wealth and pleasure an
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