e graces of others his own, appropriating them only so
far as they _fitted him_, instead of blindly and servilely imitating
his models.

C. P. Bronson truly says: "In politeness, as in every thing else
connected with the formation of character, we are too apt to begin on
the outside, instead of the inside; instead of beginning with the
heart, and trusting to that to form the manners, many begin with the
manners, and leave the heart to chance and influences. The golden rule
contains the very life and soul of politeness: 'Do unto others as you
would they should do unto you.' Unless children and youth are taught,
by precept and example, to abhor what is selfish, and prefer another's
pleasure and comfort to their own, their politeness will be entirely
artificial, and used only when interest and policy dictate. True
politeness is perfect freedom and ease, treating others just as you
love to be treated. Nature is always graceful: affectation, with all
her art, can never produce any thing half so pleasing. The very
perfection of elegance is to imitate nature; how much better to have
the reality than the imitation! Anxiety about the opinions of others
fetters the freedom of nature and tends to awkwardness; all would
appear well if they never tried to assume what they do not possess."

A writer in _Life Illustrated_, to whose excellent observations on
etiquette we shall have further occasion to refer, contends that the
instinct of courtesy is peculiarly strong in the American people. "It
is shown," he says, "in the civility which marks our intercourse with
one another. It is shown in the deference which is universally paid to
the presence of the gentler sex. It is shown in the excessive fear
which prevails among us of offending public opinion. It is shown in
the very extravagances of our costume and decoration, in our lavish
expenditures upon house and equipage. It is shown in the avidity with
which every new work is bought and read which pretends to lay down
the laws that govern the behavior of circles supposed to be, _par
excellence_, polite. It is shown in the fact, that, next to calling a
man a liar, the most offensive and stinging of all possible
expressions is, 'You are no gentleman!'"

He claims that this is a national trait, and expresses the belief that
every uncorrupt American man desires to be, and to be thought, a
gentleman; that every uncorrupt American woman desires to be, and to
be thought, a lady.

"But," he