although her father did not yet know it. The favored lover renounced her
on account of the abduction, but she said that she would never choose
another. "Whether he lives long or only a short time, whether he is rich
in virtue or poor, the husband is chosen once for all. When once the
heart has decided and the word has been spoken, let the thing be
done."[1205] These words are now regarded in Hindostan as the completest
and noblest possible expression of marriage and the woman's attitude to
it. A model wife in the heroic period was amiable to all, and made
herself beloved by politeness and friendliness, and by her virtue and
proper behavior. She gave great attention to her parents-in-law. She was
reserved in speech and submissive, and she charmed her husband by her
grace, wit, and tenderness.[1206] The Mahabharata contains episodes of
strong devotion of men to their wives and of heroic self-sacrifice of
wives for their husbands. In Hindostan now the relations of husband and
wife are not mutual. The man's mother must always be the first to him.
"This is in full accordance with the national sentiment which stigmatizes
affection which asks for equal return as shop-keeping."[1207] "Who talks
of vulgar equality," asks the Hindoo wife, "when she may instead have
the unspeakable blessedness of offering worship."[1208]

+377. Slavonic sex mores.+ The southern Slavs and people of the Caucasus
have allowed their sex mores to run into some extreme forms which to
outsiders seem vicious. Young married women contract a very intimate
relation to their bride attendants, of whom two attend a bride on her
wedding day. She is but a girl, and is given to a man whom she never saw
before, does not like, and never can like; she comes into a strange
house where it is of the first importance for the rest of her life that
she shall please her parents-in-law by the greatest humility and
submission; she is forbidden by custom to approach her husband freely;
she scarcely sees him during the day; yet she may freely converse with
his brothers, who were her bride attendants. The elder one, if he is
married, and if he is polite to her, becomes her best friend. An
Albanian who has been away at work will not bring back a gift for his
wife. He shows more attention to the wife of his elder brother. The
Servian bride is ashamed of her marital relation, and thinks it indecent
to address her husband in public, even after she has borne him children.
He remains a