limpses of self-knowledge, and struggled to call order from out the
chaos of his mind. Not two years, and yet what a change had come over
his existence! How diametrically opposite now were all his thoughts, and
views, and feelings, to those which then controlled his fatal soul! How
capable, as he firmly believed, was he now of discharging his duty to
his Creator and his fellow-men! and yet the boon that ought to have been
the reward for all this self-contest, the sweet seal that ought to have
ratified this new contract of existence, was wanting.

'Ah!' he exclaimed aloud, and in a voice of anguish, 'ah! if I ne'er had
left the walls of Dacre, how different might have been my lot!'

A gentle but involuntary pressure reminded him of the companion whom,
for once in his life, he had for a moment forgotten.

'I feel it is madness; I feel it is worse than madness; but must I yield
without a struggle, and see my dark fate cover me without an effort? Oh!
yes, here, even here, where I have wept over your contempt, even here,
although I subject myself to renewed rejection, let--let me tell you,
before we part, how I adore you!'

She was silent; a strange courage came over his spirit; and, with
a reckless boldness, and rapid voice, a misty sight, and total
unconsciousness of all other existence, he resumed the words which had
broken out, as if by inspiration.

'I am not worthy of you. Who is? I was worthless. I did not know it.
Have not I struggled to be pure? have not I sighed on my nightly pillow
for your blessing? Oh! could you read my heart (and sometimes, I think,
you can read it, for indeed, with all its faults, it is without guile) I
dare to hope that you would pity me. Since we first met, your image
has not quitted my conscience for a second. When you thought me least
worthy; when you thought me vile, or mad, oh! by all that is sacred,
I was the most miserable wretch that ever breathed, and flew to
dissipation only for distraction!

'Not--not for a moment have I ceased to think you the best, the most
beautiful, the most enchanting and endearing creature that ever graced
our earth. Even when I first dared to whisper my insolent affection,
believe me, even then, your presence controlled my spirit as no other
woman had. I bent to you then in pride and power. The station that I
could then offer you was not utterly unworthy of your perfection. I am
now a beggar, or, worse, an insolvent noble, and dare I--dare I to ask
you