Billsbury, by the aggravatingly small majority of
seventeen. Also how his "Mother bore up like a Trojan, and said she
was prouder of me than ever." Just so.

I hold it true whate'er befall,
I wrote so, to the _Morning Post_;
'Tis better to have "run" and lost,
Than never to have run at all.

"Modern Types" and "Among the Amateurs" are well known to the readers
of _Punch_. But lovers of C.S. CALVERLEY--that is to say, all but a
very few ill-conditioned critical creatures--and of neat verse with a
sting to it, should turn to p. 203 (A.C.S. _v_. C.S.C.), and read and
enjoy the smart slating Mr. LEHMANN administers to tumid, tumultuous,
thrasonic, turncoatist ALGERNON CHARLES SWINBURNE, for saying
of the brilliant and well-beloved Author of _Fly Leaves_, &c.,
that he--forsooth!--is "monstrously overrated and preposterously
overpraised"!!! BARON DE B.-W. & Co.

* * * * *

WANTED IN THE LAW COURTS.

A Junior who will wear his gown straight, and not pretend that intense
preoccupation over dummy briefs prevents him from knowing that it is
off one shoulder.

A Judge who can resist the temptation to utter feeble witticisms, and
to fall asleep.

A Witness who answers questions, and incidentally tells the truth.

A Jury who do not look supremely silly, and ridiculously
self-conscious, when directly addressed or appealed to by Counsel;
or one that really understands that the Judge's politeness is only
another and subtle form of self-glorification.

A Q.C. who is not "eminent," who does not behave "nobly," and who can
avoid the formula "I suggest to you," in cross-examination; or one
that does not thunder from a lofty and inaccessible moral altitude so
soon as a nervous Witness blunders or contradicts himself.

An Usher who does not try to induce the general public, especially the
female portion thereof, to mistake him for the Lord Chancellor.

A Solicitor who does not strive to appear _coram populo_ on terms of
quite unnecessarily familiar intercourse with his leading Counsel.

An Articled Clerk who does not dress beyond his thirty shillings
a-week, and think that the whole Court is lost in speculation as to
the identity of that distinguished-looking young man.

An Associate who does not go into ecstasies of merriment over every
joke or _obiter dictum_ from the Bench.

Anybody who does not give loud expression to the opinion at the
nearest bar when the Court rises, that he c