at could
he do then? Where could he go?

"Go to Petersburg?" Laevsky asked himself. But that would mean
beginning over again the old life which he cursed. And the man who
seeks salvation in change of place like a migrating bird would find
nothing anywhere, for all the world is alike to him. Seek salvation
in men? In whom and how? Samoylenko's kindness and generosity could
no more save him than the deacon's laughter or Von Koren's hatred.
He must look for salvation in himself alone, and if there were no
finding it, why waste time? He must kill himself, that was
all. . . .

He heard the sound of a carriage. It was getting light. The carriage
passed by, turned, and crunching on the wet sand, stopped near the
house. There were two men in the carriage.

"Wait a minute; I'm coming directly," Laevsky said to them out of
the window. "I'm not asleep. Surely it's not time yet?"

"Yes, it's four o'clock. By the time we get there . . . ."

Laevsky put on his overcoat and cap, put some cigarettes in his
pocket, and stood still hesitating. He felt as though there was
something else he must do. In the street the seconds talked in low
voices and the horses snorted, and this sound in the damp, early
morning, when everybody was asleep and light was hardly dawning in
the sky, filled Laevsky's soul with a disconsolate feeling which
was like a presentiment of evil. He stood for a little, hesitating,
and went into the bedroom.

Nadyezhda Fyodorovna was lying stretched out on the bed, wrapped
from head to foot in a rug. She did not stir, and her whole appearance,
especially her head, suggested an Egyptian mummy. Looking at her
in silence, Laevsky mentally asked her forgiveness, and thought
that if the heavens were not empty and there really were a God,
then He would save her; if there were no God, then she had better
perish--there was nothing for her to live for.

All at once she jumped up, and sat up in bed. Lifting her pale face
and looking with horror at Laevsky, she asked:

"Is it you? Is the storm over?"

"Yes."

She remembered; put both hands to her head and shuddered all over.

"How miserable I am!" she said. "If only you knew how miserable I
am! I expected," she went on, half closing her eyes, "that you would
kill me or turn me out of the house into the rain and storm, but
you delay . . . delay . . ."

Warmly and impulsively he put his arms round her and covered her
knees and hands with kisses. Then when she muttered