stow most hearty abuse;--vow that they are an unprincipled set of
knaves, scoundrels, and thieves. Hence you will be thought to have
"much to say for yourself;" and should you be enabled to narrate any
grievous losses sustained from these members of society, you will
obtain credit for having "something to lose" at any rate, and find it
of incalculable value.

When you direct a letter to a knight bachelor--though it is indeed
customary and well-bred to omit altogether the Knt.--yet it will never
be taken amiss should you venture to address him as a Knight of the
Garter, Bath, &c. &c., or even as a Baronet. Undoubtedly it is as
vulgar to misapprehend and confound titles, as it is to mispronounce
and misspell names; nevertheless rest assured, that flattered vanity
will go far to pardon vulgarity.

If a gentleman, pay infinite attention to the single ladies of a
family--compliment, flirt, converse with, and ask them to dance. This
conduct will obtain for you, on account of the fair creatures,
marvellous good report, numerous invitations; and if you have
sufficient tact to steer clear of committing yourself for more than a
few flattering and general attentions, you may be considered one of
the happiest of those who live--by their wits, and upon their friends.

Should your "dancing days be over," which is scarcely probable,
considering how greatly it is now the fashion for "potent, grave, and
reverend signors," and signoras also, to join the gay quadrille, &c.
(and here we may as well note, that in genteel society, dowager
honourables and old ladies may dance, whilst young, plain misses may
not)--there are sundry modes of rendering yourself agreeable, which
your own taste and talents, it is to be presumed, will naturally
suggest: chess, whist, ecarte, quadrille, &c. &c., not to mention a
little practical knowledge of music, are acquirements which cause an
individual to be considered "very agreeable"--because very useful; and
rely upon it, as the world goes, utility in nine cases out of ten is,
with society, a consideration. Hence, no creature is so universally
voted disagreeable as one from whom no kind of service can be exacted;
and whilst roues, gamesters, and tipplers, duelists, pugilists, and
blacklegs, are tolerated in society, stupid men are overlooked, or
thrust out of it with contempt.

Dress in the extreme of fashion: you can neither gain nor maintain
your ground without so doing; and as you have an end to answer