selected and translated for these Mystery Stories. Lucius, the
personage who tells the story, is regarded in some quarters as a
portrayal of the author himself. The purpose of "The Golden Ass"
was to satirize false priests and other contemporary frauds. But
interspersed are many episodes of adventure and strange situations,
one of which is here given.

As Telephron reached the point of his story, his fellow revelers,
befuddled with their wine, renewed the boisterous uproar. And while the
old topers were clamoring for the customary libation to laughter,
Byrrhaena explained to me that the morrow was a day religiously observed
by her city from its cradle up; a day on which they alone among mortals
propitiated that most sacred god, Laughter, with hilarious and joyful
rites. "The fact that you are here," she added, "will make it all the
merrier. And I do wish that you would contribute something amusing out
of your own cleverness, in honor of the god, to help us duly worship
such an important divinity."

"Surely," said I, "what you ask shall be done. And, by Jove! I hope I
shall hit upon something good enough to make this mighty god of yours
reveal his presence."

Hereupon, my slave reminding me what hour of night it was, I speedily
got upon my feet, although none too steadily after my potations, and,
having duly taken leave of Byrrhaena, guided my zigzag steps upon the
homeward way. But at the very first corner we turned, a sudden gust of
wind blew out the solitary torch on which we depended, and left us,
plunged in the unforeseen blackness of night, to stumble wearily and
painfully to our abode, bruising our feet on every stone in the road.

But when at last, holding each other up, we drew near our goal, there
ahead of us were three others, of big and brawny build, expending the
full energy of their strength upon our doorposts. And far from being in
the least dismayed by our arrival, they seemed only fired to a greater
zeal and made assault more fiercely. Quite naturally, it seemed clear
to us both, and especially to me, that they were robbers, and of the
most dangerous sort. So I forthwith drew the blade which I carry hidden
under my cloak for such emergencies, and threw myself, undismayed, into
the midst of these highwaymen. One after another, as they successively
tried to withstand me, I ran them through, until finally all three lay
stretched at my feet, riddled with many a gaping wound, through