inguish the dead which the battalions left behind them, and
which resembled black patches. I began to watch the movements of the
troops with curiosity, irritated at the smoke which hid a good half of the
show, experiencing a sort of egotistic pleasure at the knowledge that I
was in security, whilst others were dying.

At about nine o'clock we were ordered to advance. We went down the hill at
the double and proceeded towards the centre which was giving way. The
regular beat of our footsteps appeared to me funeral-like. The bravest
among us panting, pale and with haggard features.

I have made up my mind to tell the truth. At the first whistle of the
bullets, the battalion suddenly came to a halt, tempted to fly.

"Forward, forward!" shouted the chiefs.

But we were riveted to the ground, bowing our heads when a bullet whistled
by our ears. This movement is instinctive; if shame had not restrained me,
I would have thrown myself flat on my stomach in the dust.

"Before us was a huge veil of smoke which we dared not penetrate. Red
flashes passed through this smoke. And, shuddering, we still stood still.
But the bullets reached us; soldiers fell with yells. The chiefs shouted
louder:

"Forward, forward!"

The rear ranks, which they pushed on, compelled us to march. Then, closing
our eyes, we made a fresh dash and entered the smoke.

We were seized with furious rage. When the cry of "Halt!" resounded, we
experienced difficulty in coming to a standstill. As soon as one is
motionless, fear returns and one feels a wish to run away. Firing
commenced. We shot in front of us, without aiming, finding some relief in
discharging bullets into the smoke. I remember I pulled my trigger
mechanically, with lips firmly set together and eyes wide open; I was no
longer afraid, for, to tell the truth, I no longer knew if I existed. The
only idea I had in my head, was that I would continue firing until all was
over. My companion on the left received a bullet full in the face and fell
on me; I brutally pushed him away, wiping my cheek which he had drenched
with blood. And I resumed firing.

I still remember having seen our colonel, M. de Montrevert, firm and erect
upon his horse, gazing quietly towards the enemy. That man appeared to me
immense. He had no rifle to amuse himself with, and his breast was
expanded to its full breadth above us. From time to time, he looked down,
and exclaimed in a dry voice:

"Close the ranks, close the r