l crucifix
hung over his bed, and throwing himself down before it, he remained
motionless with his face buried in the coverlet, and his arms stretched
out towards the wall. He did not pray, but merely sought rest from
sensation. Across his half-hypnotized consciousness little threads of
burning fancy kept shooting. Then he could feel nothing but utter
physical sickness, and against this his will revolted. He resolved that
he would not be ill, a ridiculous log for women to hang over. But the
moments of sickness grew longer and more frequent; and to drive them away
he rose from his knees, and for some time again walked up and down; then,
seized with vertigo, he was obliged to sit on the bed to save himself
from falling. From being burning hot he had become deadly cold, glad to
cover himself with the bedclothes. The heat soon flamed up in him again;
but with a sick man's instinct he did not throw off the clothes, and
stayed quite still. The room seemed to have turned to a thick white
substance like a cloud, in which he lay enwrapped, unable to move hand or
foot. His sense of smell and hearing had become unnaturally acute; he
smelled the distant streets, flowers, dust, and the leather of his books,
even the scent left by Barbara's clothes, and a curious odour of river
mud. A clock struck six, he counted each stroke; and instantly the whole
world seemed full of striking clocks, the sound of horses' hoofs, bicycle
bells, people's footfalls. His sense of vision, on the contrary, was
absorbed in consciousness of this white blanket of cloud wherein he was
lifted above the earth, in the midst of a dull incessant hammering. On
the surface of the cloud there seemed to be forming a number of little
golden spots; these spots were moving, and he saw that they were toads.
Then, beyond them, a huge face shaped itself, very dark, as if of bronze,
with eyes burning into his brain. The more he struggled to get away from
these eyes, the more they bored and burned into him. His voice was gone,
so that he was unable to cry out, and suddenly the face marched over him.

When he recovered consciousness his head was damp with moisture trickling
from something held to his forehead by a figure leaning above him.
Lifting his hand he touched a cheek; and hearing a sob instantly
suppressed, he sighed. His hand was gently taken; he felt kisses on it.

The room was so dark, that he could scarcely see her face--his sight too
was dim; but he