What was the good of being
angry? He was on the point of losing her! And the anguish of that
thought, reacting on his anger, intensified it threefold. She was so
certain of herself, so superior to her emotions, to her natural
impulses--superior to her very longing to be free from him. Of that fact,
at all events, Shelton had no longer any doubt. It was beyond argument.
She did not really love him; she wanted to be free of him!
A photograph hung in his bedroom at Holm Oaks of a group round the hall
door; the Honourable Charlotte Penguin, Mrs. Dennant, Lady Bonington,
Halidome, Mr. Dennant, and the stained-glass man--all were there; and on
the left-hand side, looking straight in front of her, Antonia. Her face
in its youthfulness, more than all those others, expressed their point of
view: Behind those calm young eyes lay a world of safety and tradition.
"I am not as others are," they seemed to say.
And from that photograph Mr. and Mrs. Dennant singled themselves out; he
could see their faces as they talked--their faces with a peculiar and
uneasy look on them; and he could hear their voices, still decisive, but
a little acid, as if they had been quarrelling:
"He 's made a donkey of himself!"
"Ah! it's too distressin'!"
They, too, thought him unsound, and did n't want him; but to save the
situation they would be glad to keep him. She did n't want him, but she
refused to lose her right to say, "Commoner girls may break their
promises; I will not!" He sat down at the table between the candles,
covering his face. His grief and anger grew and grew within him. If she
would not free herself, the duty was on him! She was ready without love
to marry him, as a sacrifice to her ideal of what she ought to be!
But she had n't, after all, the monopoly of pride!
As if she stood before him, he could see the shadows underneath her eyes
that he had dreamed of kissing, the eager movements of her lips. For
several minutes he remained, not moving hand or limb. Then once more his
anger blazed. She was going to sacrifice herself and--him! All his
manhood scoffed at such a senseless sacrifice. That was not exactly what
he wanted!
He went to the bureau, took a piece of paper and an envelope, and wrote
as follows:
There never was, is not, and never would have been any question of being
bound between us. I refuse to trade on any such thing. You are
absolutely free. Our engagement is at an end by mutual consent.
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